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Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved? v.4

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved? v. 4
With a sharp increase in the population of the main cities of the world, overpopulation has become a challenging task for the nations to manage. Imbalanced migration in search of better lifestyle is the major cause behind this overcrowding of urban centres, and the government’s focus on the development of country side’s can surely solve this problem. Overpopulation of mega-cities are caused by the imbalanced migration, whereby more and more people from rural areas are moving into urban areas. This migration is attributed by a number of reasons. Firstly, the basic facilities such as medical and education are not up to the mark in the villages. For providing better education to the children and medical facilities for the family, individuals prefer to leave their countryside houses to settle down in cities. Secondly, urban centres offer a wide variety of employment opportunities and to grab these, professionals are migrating to metro-cities in search of a better earning lifestyle. Finally, lack of proper transportation infrastructure makes commuting from a village to a city extremely hectic and time consuming, that people opt to leave their ancestral homes behind to migrate to cities. The best way to solve this problem would be to develop the countryside in order to reduce the burden of the metro-cities. The government should spend more on improving the medical, education and transportation infrastructure in the villages. In this way, people in the rural areas will get the basic amenities at par with the urban people. Furthermore, employment opportunities can be increased by motivating the establishment of the startups in the suburbs by providing subsidy to the budding entrepreneurs. For instance, if all the provisions like that of jobs, literacy and health are provided at the doorsteps of the people living in the rural areas of the country, then why would they be keen to migrate to the cities leaving the nature’s lap behind? In conclusion, the government should tackle the problem of overcrowding of the urban areas by focusing more on the development of the rural areas. If villages are developed, then people in the mega-cities would be relieved of the problem of congestion in their cities.
With a sharp increase in the population of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
of the world, overpopulation has become a challenging task for the nations to manage. Imbalanced migration in search of better lifestyle is the major cause behind this overcrowding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s focus on the development of country side’s can
surely
solve this problem.

Overpopulation of mega-cities
are caused
by the imbalanced migration, whereby more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are moving into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This migration
is attributed
by a number of reasons.
Firstly
, the basic facilities such as medical and education are not up to the mark in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
. For providing better education to the children and medical facilities for the family, individuals prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their countryside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to settle down in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
offer a wide variety of employment opportunities and to grab these, professionals are migrating to metro-cities in search of a better earning lifestyle.
Finally
, lack of proper transportation infrastructure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
commuting from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
to a city
extremely
hectic and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their ancestral homes behind to migrate to cities.

The best way to solve this problem would be to develop the countryside in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden of the metro-cities. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend more on improving the medical, education and transportation infrastructure in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the basic amenities at par with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
, employment opportunities can
be increased
by motivating the establishment of the startups in the suburbs by providing subsidy to the budding entrepreneurs.
For instance
, if all the provisions like that of jobs, literacy and health
are provided
at the doorsteps of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of the country, then why would they be keen to migrate to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
leaving the nature’s lap behind?

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should tackle the problem of overcrowding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
by focusing more on the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
are developed
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the mega-cities would
be relieved
of the problem of congestion in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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