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Overpopulation around the world is major problem, What are the causes of this? How can problem be solved. v.2

Overpopulation around the world is major problem, What are the causes of this? How can problem be solved. v. 2
Overpopulation has been highlighted as an emerging issue, capturing significant public attention due to negative implications on people’s living standards. However, identifying the reasons behind the pattern could be the key to finding the solutions. There are many reasons behind the overpopulation issue. Firstly, Due to inadequate sex education programmes accompanied by societal prejudices in many nations, young generations are not fully outfitted with proper sexual knowledge regarding to reproductive process, contraceptives, and sexually transmitted diseases, feeding into the engagement into sexual intercourse in young individuals without any preventative approaches. For example, in India, since any sex-education concepts are discouraged based on the common religious beliefs, young women are ignorant of birth control methods and forced to keep unintended pregnancies, making India now one of the second most populous nations. Second, it has been economically proved that human resources with increasing young population could be associated with the expansion of labour force, attracting outsourcing investments activities for low labour costs, which could generate occupational opportunities with economic benefits. . That is why many developing nations’ governments have conducted many population growth policies, making overpopulation an inevitable product. Nonetheless, The issue can be coped with many solution. First, In order to address the issue of overpopulation, official authorities should stimulate the application of mandatory sex education programmes in educational institutions of any kind irrespective of the superannuated social stigma. This could raise their awareness of healthy sexual relationships and birth prevention approaches, which could lead to planned and responsible pregnancies followed by the reduced population. Second, if the governments could legislate the population control policies, the problem could be curbed. For instance, despite the infamous one-child policy capping the population boom by heavily punishing families and government officials having the second child, the national revenue still remains stable at the growth rate of 8% annually thanks to the national educational programmes promoting the labours’ expertise with higher productivity. In conclusion, the overpopulation problem could be stemming from inadequate sex education in young generations and the government policies prioritizing economic benefits. Nonetheless, by applying mandatory sex education programmes and limiting the population explosion by governmental legislation, the problem could be addressed effectively.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Overpopulation
has
been highlighted
as an emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, capturing significant public attention due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implications on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s living standards.
However
, identifying the reasons behind the pattern could be the key to finding the solutions.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
Firstly
, Due to inadequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
accompanied by societal prejudices in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations are not
fully
outfitted with proper sexual knowledge
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
reproductive process, contraceptives, and
sexually
transmitted diseases, feeding into the engagement into sexual intercourse in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals without any preventative approaches.
For example
, in India, since any sex-education concepts
are discouraged
based on the common religious beliefs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
women are ignorant of birth control methods and forced to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
unintended pregnancies, making India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
one of the second most populous nations. Second, it has been
economically
proved that human resources with increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
could
be associated
with the expansion of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force, attracting outsourcing investments activities for low
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
costs, which could generate occupational opportunities with economic benefits.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing nations’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have conducted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
an inevitable product.

Nonetheless, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
can
be coped
with
Possible agreement error. The noun solution seems to be countable; consider using: "many solutions".
many solution
.
First
, In order to address the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
, official authorities should stimulate the application of mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
in educational institutions of any kind irrespective of the superannuated social stigma. This could raise their awareness of healthy sexual relationships and birth prevention approaches, which could lead to planned and responsible pregnancies followed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. Second, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
could legislate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
, the problem could
be curbed
.
For instance
, despite the infamous one-child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
capping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
boom by
heavily
punishing families and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
officials having the second child, the national revenue
still
remains stable at the growth rate of 8%
annually
thanks to the national educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
promoting the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
’ expertise with higher productivity.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
problem could be stemming from inadequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
prioritizing economic benefits. Nonetheless, by applying mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and limiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
explosion by governmental legislation, the problem could
be addressed
effectively
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Overpopulation around the world is major problem, What are the causes of this? How can problem be solved. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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