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Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree? v.4

Impacts and costs of international sporting events are quite controversial in the present time. Some of the schools are focusing on the benefits of holding international sports events while the opposite school is on the view that this is a waste of time, funds and effort. This essay delves with the viewpoint before it closes the argument. Firstly, international sporting events help to build some special relations between the hostile countries. For instance, the relationship between India and Pakistan is not so friendly and they have disputes on many issues. But the disputes are overlooked on the playground. When the teams participate in cricket, the relationships among the players are not hostile. They are cooperative and exercise the best friendly attitude with each other. If it continues, it is expected that the cold relations between the two countries will turn warmer someday. Moreover, such events bring foreign revenue, inspire sports lover to take part in outdoor games and promote a healthy lifestyle. But on the contrary, the disadvantages are also acknowledgeable. When an international and exciting sports competition is arranged, people want to watch those events – some prefer to watch live in the playground while many like to watch on television sitting at home. To enjoy a high voltage cricket match or exciting Olympic events, people need to waste their valuable times both day and night. A hardcore cricket fan may bunk office, school or may make late-rising early next morning for sleeping late at night. Thereby, in a greater consideration, this is a waste of time, effort and money for the ordinary people. On top of that, hosting those events requires a huge sum of money and efforts. To finish the argument, I would like to say that, though arranging big events is costly, they have many advantages. They promote friendly relationship, entertain people, promote tourism and inspire young people to participate more in sports. This is why I disagree with the view that big sporting events are an enormous waste of fund, time and effort.
Impacts and costs of
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international
sporting
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events
are quite controversial in the present
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time
.
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
Some of the
schools are focusing on the benefits of holding
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
while the opposite school is on the view that this is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, funds and effort. This essay delves with the viewpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it closes the argument.

Firstly
,
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international
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special relations between the hostile countries.
For instance
, the relationship between India and Pakistan is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friendly and
they have disputes on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the disputes
are overlooked
on the playground. When the teams participate in cricket, the relationships among the players are not hostile. They are cooperative and exercise the best friendly attitude with each other. If it continues, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
relations between the two countries will turn warmer someday.
Moreover
, such
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events
bring foreign revenue, inspire
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sports
lover to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in outdoor games and promote a healthy lifestyle.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the contrary
, the disadvantages are
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
acknowledgeable
. When an
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international
and exciting
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sports
competition
is arranged
,
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people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
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some
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the playground while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on television sitting at home. To enjoy a high voltage cricket match or exciting Olympic
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events
,
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people
need to
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waste
their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
both day and night. A hardcore cricket fan may bunk office, school or may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
late-rising early
next
morning for sleeping late at night. Thereby, in a greater consideration, this is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, effort and money for the ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
On top of that
, hosting those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
requires a huge sum of money and efforts.

To finish the argument, I would like to say that, though arranging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is costly, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages. They promote friendly relationship, entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, promote tourism and inspire young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to participate more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This is why I disagree with the view that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are an enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
of fund,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and effort.
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One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and World Cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, these days, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. How far do you agree with the view that such sporting events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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