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Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree? v.1

Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree? v. 1
Some sports like Olympic Games and World Cup have played a singnificant role in our community over the past half century. But, some individuals consider these as waste of cash, time and hard work. In my opinion, I agree with this statement, because these resources can be used to provide better education and healthcare services. State's resources should be carefully distributed and used. Wasting these on sport, instead of providing quality education for its citizens, is not correct. Firstly, government should be open more school with better staff and equipment. In the addition, government should provide scholarships for higher teaching. It is learning and no games, which help the country to grow. For example, all the schools in the Mumbai were closed down for Asian Games in India, which affected the educational year of the students. On the other hand, effort and money should be invested in the health care set up. More hospital should be built with more qualifying doctors and staff. If government do not take care of the needs of its citizen, there is no point of spending on sport activities. For example, the budget for cricket is five times more than health in the Pakistan. Therefore, health should be the priority. In conclusion, although World Cup and Olympic Games have essential role in our society over the past fifty years. In my opinion, however, more hard work, time and finances should be used to increase the quality of the education and the health care in the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
sports like Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
and World Cup have played a
Possible spelling mistake found.
singnificant
role in our community over the past half century.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals consider these as waste of cash, time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these resources can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to provide better education and healthcare services.

State's resources should be
carefully
distributed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. Wasting these on sport,
instead
of providing quality education for its citizens, is not correct.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be open more school with better staff and equipment. In the addition,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide scholarships for higher teaching. It is learning and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the country to grow.
For example
, all the schools in the Mumbai
were closed
down for Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
in India, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the educational year of the students.

On the other hand
, effort and money should
be invested
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care set up. More hospital should
be built
with more qualifying doctors and staff. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
do not take care of the needs of its citizen, there is no point of spending on sport activities.
For example
, the budget for cricket is five times more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the Pakistan.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
should be the priority.

In conclusion
, although World Cup and Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
have essential role in our society over the past fifty years. In my opinion,
however
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, time and finances should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to increase the quality of the education and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care in the country.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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