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Our personalities are pre-determined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Our personalities are pre-determined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. v. 1
Personality is unique to an individual person. It is argued by scientists that the genetic composition influences our character and nothing can change our nature. In my opinion, I agree that genes play an important role in shaping our identity. However, environment is important too. Sequence of genes in DNAs is essential for the external characteristics of the body. Every person is different because of the change in genetic pattern, which is distinct for everyone. There are certain traits which are based on genomes, which cannot be altered, such as decision making and self-control. To illustrate, a study conducted at Harvard University, proves that 30-60 percent of our character relies on inheritance chromosomes. Therefore, these play a crucial part in determining our emotions. On the other hand, the atmosphere we live in is essential. The environment in which a child is born and raised makes a great impact on his nature. Usually children tend to follow their parents and carry in their footsteps. The surroundings, friends and other people you hang out with also influence the way we think and act. For example, Extroversion is a personality dimension that shows how people interact with the world. Some people are extroverts and outgoing while others are introverts and reserved. Hence, our inner self is also altered by the external world. In conclusion, some scientists argue that our characteristics are already decided based upon the genetic composition and nothing can change it. In my opinion, although it is the key to human nature, but, however, environmental conditions play a vital role too.
Personality is unique to an individual person. It
is argued
by scientists that the genetic composition influences our character and nothing can
change
our nature. In my opinion, I
agree
that genes play an
important
role in shaping our identity.
However
, environment is
important
too.

Sequence of genes in
DNAs
is essential for the external characteristics of the body. Every person is
different
because
of the
change
in genetic pattern, which is distinct for everyone. There are certain traits which
are based
on genomes, which cannot
be altered
, such as
decision making
and self-control. To illustrate, a study conducted at Harvard University, proves that 30-60 percent of our character relies on inheritance chromosomes.
Therefore
, these play a crucial part in determining our emotions.

On the other hand
, the atmosphere we
live
in is essential. The environment in which a child
is born
and raised
makes
a great impact on his nature.
Usually
children tend to follow their parents and carry in their footsteps. The surroundings, friends and other
people
you hang out with
also
influence the way we
think
and act.
For example
, Extroversion is a personality dimension that
shows
how
people
interact with the world.
Some
people
are extroverts and outgoing while others are introverts and reserved.
Hence
, our inner self is
also
altered by the external world.

In conclusion
,
some
scientists argue that our characteristics are already decided based upon the genetic composition and nothing can
change
it. In my opinion, although it is the key to human nature,
but
,
however
, environmental conditions play a vital role too.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Our personalities are pre-determined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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