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Ordinary people try to copy famous people either reading magazines or watching t. v. why do they do this? do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Ordinary people try to copy famous people either reading magazines or watching t. v. why do they do this? do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people. v. 1
In this modern era, individuals tend to imitate their prominent celebrities, such as Bollywood stars, Hollywood actors, artists, etc. They often do this through the help of social media and other platforms. This essay will provide reasons why people do this and the negative consequences of imitating them. First of all, the youth of today copies various important figures to achieve success like them. These ordinary people take them as their role models and by doing this, they often follow their footsteps. By keeping themselves updated through social media, such as Facebook and Instagram, etc. , the ordinary folk tries to imitate each and every aspect of their lavish lifestyle. For instance, the impact of Bollywood celebrities like Salman khan on a youngster's life is undoubtedly huge. Teenagers often take a shot a the luck by commuting to Mumbai and giving auditions, which they believe would make them successful like him. The other reason is the profound love towards the famous stars. There is no doubt in the fact that a celebrity does everything from his end to get a massive fan following and also making sure that their fans get what they pay for. This develops a tremendous admiration towards them. Apart from the reasons stated above, there will be negative impacts on an ordinary person when he imitates a significant personality. We know that the actors in the movies often indulge in drugs, cigarette smoking, gambling, etc. , which instills a detrimental effect on the teenagers. Then, they, to develop an addiction in such life threatening habits. In conclusion, it is evident that the generation of today copies various prominent personalities. To achieve something successful like them and their affection are the reasons for doing this. Also, it might have serious ramifications on certain individuals.
In this modern era, individuals tend to imitate their prominent celebrities, such as Bollywood stars, Hollywood actors, artists, etc. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
do this through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of social media and other platforms. This essay will provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do this and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of imitating them.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the youth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
copies various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
figures to achieve success like them. These ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take them as their role models and by doing this, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
follow their footsteps. By keeping themselves updated through social media, such as Facebook and Instagram, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
the ordinary folk tries to imitate each and every aspect of their lavish lifestyle.
For instance
, the impact of Bollywood celebrities like Salman khan on a youngster's life is
undoubtedly
huge.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
take a shot
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "the" is left.
a the
luck by commuting to Mumbai and giving auditions, which they believe would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them successful like him.

The other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the profound
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
stars. There is no doubt in the fact that a celebrity does everything from his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a massive fan following and
also
making sure that their fans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they pay for. This develops a tremendous admiration towards them.

Apart from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
stated above, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on an ordinary person when he imitates a significant personality. We know that the actors in the movies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
indulge in drugs, cigarette smoking, gambling, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
which instills a detrimental effect on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. Then, they, to develop an addiction in such life threatening habits.

In conclusion
, it is evident that the generation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
copies various prominent personalities. To achieve something successful like them and their affection are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for doing this.
Also
, it might have serious ramifications on certain individuals.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Ordinary people try to copy famous people either reading magazines or watching t. v. why do they do this? do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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