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Ordinary People try to copy famous people either reading and magazines or watching TV. Why do they do this? Do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people v.1

Ordinary People try to copy famous people either reading and magazines or watching TV. Why do they do this? Do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people v. 1
THE RENOUNE PEOPLE HAVE ENORMOUS INFLUENCE ON TODAYS' GENERATION. HENCE, INTELLENGENT INDIVUIDUALS TRY TO ADAPT THEM SELF AS THEIR IDEALS USED TO BE IN EACH AND EVERYWAY. FIRSTLY, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE VARIOUS REASONS BEHIND THIS TREND AND SECONDLY, STATE MY VIEWS ON WHY IT IS UNBENEFIACIAL TO FOLLOW THE RENOUNE PERSON BASEDD ON THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IN TV OR MAGAZINES WITH RELEVENT EXAMPLES. FROM AN INDIVIDUALS VIEW, FOLKS USED TO DO SO BECAUSE READING ARTICLE OR MAGAZINES OR WATCHING TELEVISION ARE ONLY WAY WHERE THEY COULD FIND THE INFORAMTION ABOUT THE NUMEROUS FAMOUS PEOPLE. CONSEQUENTLY, EVERYONE HAS TELEVISION NN THEIR DWELL FOR THEIR ENTERTAINMENT. FOR EXAMPLE, AS PER THE TELECOMUNICATION DATA OF THE WORLD' SURVEY SHOWED THAT 80% OF THE PEOPLE HAVE THE VIDEO STATION IN THEIR HOME. AS A RESULT, THIS MAKE THEM AND THEIR OFFSPRING INSPIRED TO LISTEN TO IFOMRATION. ON THE OTHER HAND, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, IF A RENOUNE PERSON IS KIND AND GENUNE A; SP HAS GOOD CHARACTER AND DOING ADVANATAGEOUS WORKS FOR CIVILIAN THEN I THINK IT IS GOOD TP MAKE THAT KIND OF AN INDIVIDUAL AS A IDEAL TO FOLLOW FURTHER. FOR INSTANCE, THE INDIA'S FREEDOM FIGHER SHREE MAHATMA GANDHI IS A [PERFECT EXAMPLE TO COPY HIS LIFE STYLE AS HE GAVE MASSSAGED TO EVERY CITIZES ABOUT NOT TO FIGHT AND SPRED THE LOVE. IN CONCLUSION, FAMLOUSE PEOPLE INDEED INSPIORE AN INDIVUIDUALS IN MANY WAYS. HOWEVER, IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO CHOOSE THE CORRECT RENKUNE PERSON FROM WHOM WE LEARN SOMETHING AND BRING SOME DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD. OTHERWISE, PEOPLE CAN RUIN THEIR OWN LIFE AS WELL AFTER FOLLOWING THE WROND PERSON IN LIVELIHOOD.
THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
RENOUNE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
HAVE ENORMOUS INFLUENCE ON
Possible spelling mistake found.
TODAYS
' GENERATION.
HENCE
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
INTELLENGENT
Possible spelling mistake found.
INDIVUIDUALS
TRY TO ADAPT THEM SELF AS THEIR IDEALS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
TO BE IN EACH AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
EVERYWAY
.
FIRSTLY
, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE VARIOUS REASONS BEHIND THIS TREND AND
SECONDLY
, STATE MY VIEWS ON WHY IT IS
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNBENEFIACIAL
TO FOLLOW THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
RENOUNE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PERSON
Possible spelling mistake found.
BASEDD
ON THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IN TV OR MAGAZINES WITH
Possible spelling mistake found.
RELEVENT
EXAMPLES.

FROM AN INDIVIDUALS VIEW, FOLKS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
TO DO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
READING ARTICLE OR MAGAZINES OR WATCHING TELEVISION ARE
Please check whether an article is missing: "a ONLY".
ONLY
WAY WHERE THEY COULD FIND THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
INFORAMTION
ABOUT THE NUMEROUS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAMOUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
.
CONSEQUENTLY
, EVERYONE HAS TELEVISION
Possible spelling mistake found.
NN
THEIR DWELL FOR THEIR ENTERTAINMENT.
FOR EXAMPLE
, AS PER THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
TELECOMUNICATION
DATA OF THE WORLD' SURVEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOWED
THAT 80% OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
HAVE THE VIDEO STATION IN THEIR HOME.
AS A RESULT
, THIS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
THEM AND THEIR OFFSPRING INSPIRED TO LISTEN TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
IFOMRATION
.

ON THE OTHER HAND
, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, IF A
Possible spelling mistake found.
RENOUNE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PERSON
IS KIND AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
GENUNE
A; SP HAS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
CHARACTER AND DOING
Possible spelling mistake found.
ADVANATAGEOUS
WORKS FOR CIVILIAN THEN I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
IT IS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
TP
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
THAT
If 'KIND' is a classification term, 'AN' is not necessary. Use "KIND OF". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
KIND OF AN
INDIVIDUAL AS A IDEAL TO FOLLOW
FURTHER
.
FOR INSTANCE
, THE INDIA'S FREEDOM
Possible spelling mistake found.
FIGHER
Possible spelling mistake found.
SHREE
MAHATMA GANDHI IS A
Unpaired symbol: ']' seems to be missing
[
PERFECT EXAMPLE TO COPY HIS LIFE STYLE AS HE GAVE
Possible spelling mistake found.
MASSSAGED
TO EVERY
Possible spelling mistake found.
CITIZES
ABOUT NOT TO FIGHT AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
SPRED
THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LOVE
.

IN CONCLUSION
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
FAMLOUSE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
INDEED
Possible spelling mistake found.
INSPIORE
AN
Possible spelling mistake found.
INDIVUIDUALS
IN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
WAYS.
HOWEVER
, IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO CHOOSE THE CORRECT
Possible spelling mistake found.
RENKUNE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PERSON
FROM WHOM WE LEARN SOMETHING AND BRING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.
OTHERWISE
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
CAN RUIN THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
OWN
LIFE
AS WELL
AFTER FOLLOWING THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
WROND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PERSON
IN LIVELIHOOD.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Ordinary People try to copy famous people either reading and magazines or watching TV. Why do they do this? Do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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