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OPIC # 39 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. v.2

OPIC # 39 With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. v. 2
Technology has a pivotal role in our life. It has impacted our planet significantly and it invades a lot of fields such education, work, home and even transportation. It has improved the education style in the schools and universities. Even though some people believe that technology does not help students nowadays, personally, I think with technology, students nowadays can learn more information and quickly for two imperative reasons. To begin with, with the invention of the internet, students are able to expand their knowledge. In order to get a good piece of information, a student now can access to millions of websites to find a good piece of information. Take myself as an example, when I was in pharmacy school, our professor asked us to do research about carcinogenics medicines. In fact, he requested a lot of things in the report such as indication of drugs, precaution, side effects, and even drug food interaction. At the first, I was disappointed because I couldn' t collect all these information from the library within limit time, so my instructor suggested to me some educational websites that provided me a lot of information. In fact, I worked very hard and I introduced my report with a bunch of information, as a result I got a good grade in clinical pharmacy and my teacher praised me in the class. This experience taught me that technology, especially the internet, endorses students positively. Second, technology helps professor to introduce the subjects to the students easily so they can understand the materials in an easy way. An advent of computers and the microscpoes, persuaded teachers to explain materials clearly. For instance, three weeks ago, my sister was confused about the biology class because she did not understand one of slide in the microscope. Actually, she told me that the devices were old and they didn' t update them so many students were frustrated about that so they decided to talk with the university mangament, and they brought good devices and microscopes. The students were very happy, and my sister was so excited because she stated that the new microscope supports her study and allows her to see the slide in a good mannar. She explained to me that the image is clear and sharp. As we can clearly see, without the new microscopes, my sister struggled a lot to understand the class. By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I firmly concur that technology has developed the education for students. we apprieciate the technology since our planet thrives because of that and it has a lot of advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has a pivotal role in our life. It has impacted our planet
significantly
and it invades a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of fields such education, work, home and even transportation. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the education style in the schools and universities.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
nowadays,
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
nowadays can learn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and
quickly
for two imperative reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, with the invention of the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to expand their knowledge. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can access to millions of websites to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Take myself as an example, when I was in pharmacy school, our professor asked us to do research about carcinogenics medicines. In fact, he requested a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of things in the report such as indication of drugs, precaution, side effects, and even drug food interaction. At the
first
, I
was disappointed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldn&
#039; t collect all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the library within limit time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
my instructor suggested to me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational websites that provided me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. In fact, I worked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and I introduced my report with a bunch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
as a result
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
grade in clinical pharmacy and my teacher praised me in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This experience taught me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
especially
the internet, endorses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
positively
.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
professor to introduce the subjects to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can understand the materials
Consider replacing "in an easy way" with the adverb for "easy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an easy way
. An advent of computers and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
microscpoes
, persuaded teachers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
materials
clearly
.
For instance
, three weeks ago, my sister
was confused
about the biology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she did not understand one of slide in the microscope. Actually, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that the devices were
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
old and
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t update them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were frustrated
about that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they decided to talk with the university
Possible spelling mistake found.
mangament
, and they brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
devices and microscopes. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy, and my sister was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she stated that the new microscope supports her study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the slide in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
mannar
. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
to me that the image is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and sharp. As we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, without the new microscopes, my sister struggled a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
to understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I
firmly
concur that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has developed the education for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
Possible spelling mistake found.
apprieciate
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
since our planet thrives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that and it has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of advantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay OPIC # 39 With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
435 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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