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Online shopping is increasing dramatically. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of jobs required? v.1

Online shopping is increasing dramatically. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of jobs required? v. 1
Online shopping has become more popular than ever before in recent years. This trend may have positive impacts on the environment and employment patterns in the short run, but it may do more harm than good in the long run. In terms of the environment, the popularity of online shopping can help reduce the number of car journeys to physical stores and the amount of associated greenhouse emissions. A delivery truck, for example, is able to carry large amounts of goods, which, if carried by private cars, would require hundreds of trips, emitting huge amounts of carbon emissions into the atmosphere. In the long term, however, the convenience of shopping on the Internet might encourage people to buy more, and this will increase the number of delivery vehicles on the road, releasing more exhaust fumes and heat-trapping gases. In addition, if people consume more, there will be more waste ending up in landfills, which are one of the largest sources of global greenhouse gas emissions. Regarding the effects on the types of jobs in the labour market, the growing popularity of online shopping has created various new employment opportunities, such as online grocery personal shoppers, delivery drivers and web designers. Looking into the future, however, the growth of this kind of shopping might lead to the bankruptcy of many traditional retailers, forcing thousands of people to face unemployment. The number of jobless people might outnumber the number of job openings created by the rapid development of online shopping, resulting in a higher level of unemployment. In conclusion, the growth of online shopping might be beneficial for the environment and the labour market in the short run; however, in the long term, the benefits might be overshadowed by the negative consequences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become more popular than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
in recent years. This trend may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the environment and employment patterns in the short run,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it may do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in the long run.

In terms of the environment, the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of car journeys to physical stores and the amount of associated greenhouse emissions. A delivery truck,
for example
, is able to carry large amounts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, which, if carried by private cars, would require hundreds of trips, emitting huge amounts of carbon emissions into the atmosphere. In the long term,
however
, the convenience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more, and this will increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of delivery vehicles on the road, releasing more exhaust fumes and heat-trapping gases.
In addition
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume more, there will be more waste ending up in landfills, which are one of the largest sources of global greenhouse gas emissions.

Regarding the effects on the types of jobs in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market, the growing popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has created various new employment opportunities, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
grocery personal shoppers, delivery drivers and web designers. Looking into the future,
however
, the growth of this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lead to the bankruptcy of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
traditional retailers, forcing thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to face unemployment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
outnumber the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of job openings created by the rapid development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, resulting in a higher level of unemployment.

In conclusion
, the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be beneficial for the environment and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market in the short run;
however
, in the long term, the benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be overshadowed
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Online shopping is increasing dramatically. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of jobs required? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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