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Online shopping is increasing dramatically. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of jobs required? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. v.3

Online shopping is increasing dramatically. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of jobs required? v. 3
In the cutting-edge world, the Internet plays a vital role in diverse aspects of life, which leads to a significant development of online shopping. This tendency actually affects the environment in terms of decreasing air pollution as well as providing more job opportunities for people. On the one hand, it is clear that buying things on the Internet would bring about several environmental advantages. One reason is that everyone can easily purchase kinds of stuff from the website in place of directly going shopping; hence, the number of vehicles will considerably decrease. As a result, air pollution which seriously affects the environment before will be significantly improved. Another reason is that there is too much light from a range of advertisements, which appear around the streets by neon boards. This has a bad influence on the natural environment, especially with animals and plants. Consequently, using online shopping as a tool to advertise for goods is an effective way to reduce light pollution. On the other hand, it is obvious that society has also been affected by this trend. Nowadays, some employees can work from home; for instance, the freelancer or web designer. Thanks to the unprecedented growth on the Internet as well as online shopping, a large number of people tend to work own jobs depending on the demand of customers. Thereby, unemployment that relates to information technology has not been a massive issue because of the booming in buying things through the Internet. In conclusion, online shopping has positive impacts on both the environment and the economical status of the country. Besides the benefits of it on the environment, creating many job opportunities for people from online shops should not be denied.
In the cutting-edge world, the Internet plays a vital role in diverse aspects of life, which leads to a significant development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. This tendency actually affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
in terms of decreasing air pollution
as well
as providing more job opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that buying things on the Internet would bring about several environmental advantages. One reason is that everyone can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
kinds of stuff from the website in place of
directly
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
;
hence
, the number of vehicles will
considerably
decrease.
As a result
, air pollution which
seriously
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
will be
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. Another reason is that there is too much light from a range of advertisements, which appear around the streets by neon boards. This has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
especially
with animals and plants.
Consequently
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a tool to advertise for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
is an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
light pollution.

On the other hand
, it is obvious that society has
also
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this trend. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employees can work from home;
for instance
, the freelancer or web designer. Thanks to the unprecedented growth on the Internet
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
jobs depending on the demand of customers. Thereby, unemployment that relates to information technology has not been a massive issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the booming in buying things through the Internet.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and the
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
status of the country.
Besides
the benefits of it on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops should not
be denied
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Online shopping is increasing dramatically. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of jobs required? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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