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Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. v. 1
Attending lectures and studying online is the new trend as it is cost effective and less stressful. While some individuals think that the class-room way of learning cannot be replaced by online-learning. In my opinion, the latter is the case as e-learning will gradually phase out all  forms of face-to-face learning. On the one hand, traditional education is believed to be irreplaceable as this way ensures physical contact with the teacher. People believe this method cannot be phased out as e-learning requires strong internet connectivity and good light unlike traditional method which requires the presence of the teachers and the students. It is said that the best way of learning is via one on one with the lecturers and this method provides the opportunity for it. With this form of teaching, He will be able to see if the student is following attentively, questions can be easily asked and suggestions raised. For Instance, In a recent survey carried out by the pupils of York school, it was agreed by the majority of the students that seeing the tutor physically while being taught improved their self confidence and made them feel much more safe with their tutor thus the advocate for this method. Conversely, e-learning is being widely acceptable as this is fast, cheap and have the ability to reach millions at the same time. With this method, people can connect at different places however at a minimal internet costs. Most schools are gradually resulting in this mode as it saves travel time for the teacher and student. For example, It was widely reported by the new york times that about three universities have added online certificates and learning to their mode of study as pupils can now learn courses online from any part of the world and receive their certificate at the end. In my view, I believe this method is the best as it is of benefit to both the university and the students. The institution can gain more income having variety of overseas students and the students are less bothered with the relocation costs. In conclusion, the world is a global village changing daily and everyone moving along with the change. With this in mind, in the nearest future the classroom form of learning will be phased out totally.
Attending lectures and studying online is the new trend as it
is cost
effective and less stressful.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
-room way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
cannot
be replaced
by online-learning. In my opinion, the latter is the case as e-learning will
gradually
phase out all
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
forms of face-to-face learning.

On the one hand, traditional education
is believed
to be irreplaceable as this way ensures physical contact with the teacher.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
cannot
be phased
out as e-learning requires strong internet connectivity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
light unlike traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
which requires the presence of the teachers and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It
is said
that the best way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is via one on one with the lecturers and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
provides the opportunity for it. With this form of teaching, He will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is following
attentively
, questions can be
easily
asked and suggestions raised.
For Instance
, In a recent survey carried out by the pupils of York school, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
by the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that seeing the tutor
physically
while
being taught
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
and made them feel much more safe with their tutor
thus
the advocate for this method.

Conversely
, e-learning is being
widely
acceptable as this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and have the ability to reach millions at the same time. With this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can connect at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places
however
at a minimal internet costs. Most schools are
gradually
resulting in this mode as it saves travel time for the teacher and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
For example
, It was
widely
reported by the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new york
times that about three universities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
online certificates and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to their mode of study as pupils can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
learn courses online from any part of the world and receive their certificate at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. In my view, I believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is the best as it is of benefit to both the university and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The institution can gain more income having variety of overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are less bothered with the relocation costs.

In conclusion
, the world is a global village changing daily and everyone moving along with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. With this in mind, in the nearest future the classroom form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
will
be phased
out
totally
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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