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Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Enthusiasm for digital technology is at an all-time high, not least in the workplace as companies around the world turn to internet-based training to keep their employees abreast of all the latest developments. As with all new trends, there is some debate about whether this transition is for the best. One key reason for this move away from more traditional training methods is the fact that e-learning offers businesses the opportunity to reduce their expenditure significantly. Providing face-to-face training can be exorbitantly expensive, particularly in terms of travel costs and lost productivity, and online courses can greatly reduce the expense of keeping employees well-informed and up-to-date. Computer-based training renders geographical location irrelevant and this eliminates the need to pay an instructor to travel to your office as well as cover the cost of sending your employees to a training centre. It also minimises the amount of time wasted. From a purely financial perspective so there is no doubt that this shift to digital learning makes perfect sense. However, research suggests that the quality and effectiveness of web-based courses lag behind the efficacy of those delivered in a classroom setting. meanwhile People crave interaction and while digital training courses may offer a welcome addition to a company’s professional development plan then next many educators believe that they should be used to complement rather than replace instructor-led sessions moreover Some subject matter to justify compliance training is well-suited to an online format whereas management or leadership courses which are more collaborative in nature, are best taught ‘in person’. Many companies are starting to implement ‘blended learning’ programmes which aim to combine the best of both worlds. In conclusion, although the rise of computer-based education is very attractive in terms of reducing overheads, for the moment at least, more traditional training still has its place in the workplace. The challenge for businesses is to find the right balance between the two. 311 words
Enthusiasm for digital technology is at an all-time high, not least in the workplace as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
around the world turn to internet-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their employees abreast of all the latest developments. As with all new trends, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
debate about whether this transition is for the best.

One key reason for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from more traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
methods is the fact that e-learning offers businesses the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their expenditure
significantly
. Providing face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
can be
exorbitantly
expensive,
particularly
in terms of travel costs and lost productivity, and online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the expense of keeping employees well-informed and up-to-date. Computer-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
renders geographical location irrelevant and this eliminates the need to pay an instructor to travel to your office
as well
as cover the cost of sending your employees to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. It
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimises' is British English.
minimises
the amount of time wasted. From a
purely
financial perspective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no doubt that this shift to digital learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
perfect sense.

However
, research suggests that the quality and effectiveness of web-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
lag behind the efficacy of those delivered in a classroom setting.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
meanwhile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
crave interaction and while digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
may offer a welcome addition to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s professional development plan then
next
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educators believe that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to complement
rather
than replace instructor-led sessions
moreover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
to justify compliance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is well-suited to an online format whereas management or leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
which are more collaborative in nature, are best taught ‘in person’.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are starting to implement ‘blended learning’
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
which aim to combine the best of both worlds.

In conclusion
, although the rise of computer-based education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive in terms of reducing overheads, for the moment at least, more traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
still
has its place in the workplace. The challenge for businesses is to find the right balance between the two.

311 words
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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