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Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
Generation gap is nothing new and it is not uncommon for children to have radically different views from their parents and grandparents on many aspects of life. Most of the times, these differences pertain to areas such as relationships, career and health and sometimes they do cause problems. To begin with, young people have a rather carefree and casual attitude towards marriage and relationships. They are more self-centred and insist on having their space in a relationship. Unfortunately, this leads to more divorces and broken homes. Old people, on the other hand, consider marriage as a sacred institution. It hurts them when their children get into casual relationships for fun. In many cases, parents also disapprove of their children’s career choices. Every parent wants their children to have a safe and secure source of income. Young people, on the other hand, do not mind taking risks. Many of them want to be their own boss and start up. Unfortunately, parents often discourage the entrepreneurial ambitions of their children because they believe that launching one’s own venture is risky. Young people and their parents also tend to differ on matters concerning health. While the older generation was quite conscious about health, youngsters tend to take it for granted. While it is quite common and normal for parents and children to have different opinions on many things, sometimes these differences do cause problems. For example, young people who are not serious about relationships are unlikely to have a stable family life and their children are the worst affected by this. Studies have shown that children coming from dysfunctional families are more likely to get into anti-social activities. Needless to say, a stable family is the fundamental unit of a healthy society and it is important for young people to give due importance to their relationships just like their parents do. Young people should also learn something from their parents about the importance of eating well and staying healthy. As for career choices, in my opinion, it is important for parents to trust their children and their vision. To conclude, it is quite normal for young people and their parents to have different views and opinions on many matters. Sometimes this does cause problems and in such situations, it is better for young people to listen to the sage advice of their parents.
Generation gap is nothing new and it is not uncommon for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have
radically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and grandparents on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of life.
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
Most of the times
, these differences pertain to areas such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
, career and health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they do cause problems.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
rather
carefree and casual attitude towards marriage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
. They are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-centred
and insist on having their space in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. Unfortunately, this leads to more divorces and broken homes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
on the other hand
, consider marriage as a sacred institution. It hurts them when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into casual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
for fun. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
disapprove of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
career choices. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
wants their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have a safe and secure source of income.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
on the other hand
, do not mind taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them want to be their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boss and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up. Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
discourage the entrepreneurial ambitions of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that launching one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
venture is risky.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
tend to differ on matters concerning health. While the older generation was quite conscious about health, youngsters tend to take it for granted.

While it is quite common and normal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these differences do cause problems.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not serious about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
are unlikely to have a stable family life and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are the worst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this. Studies have shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
coming from dysfunctional families are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into anti-social activities. Needless to say, a stable family is the fundamental unit of a healthy society and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to give due importance to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
also
learn something from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about the importance of eating well and staying healthy. As for career choices, in my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to trust their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and their vision.

To conclude
, it is quite normal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views and opinions on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
matters.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
this does cause problems and in such situations, it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to listen to the sage advice of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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