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One should have enough money to fulfill our basic needs and rest of the should be given to needy people. To what extent do u agree or disagree. v.2

One should have enough money to fulfill our basic needs and rest of the should be given to needy people. v. 2
It is certainly true that money plays indispensable role to fulfill our basic needs. However, one of the most controversial here is of remaining money left after fulfilling our basic needs; should that money be given to needy or not? I am completely disagree with the given statement and shall explore the same facets in the upcoming paragraphs. There are ample of reasons why the remaining money after fulfilling our basic necessities should not be given to the needy. First and foremost reason is hard work and struggle. The person who has huge amount money has earned it by hard work and struggle in their life. Moreover, they spent midnight lamps to earn it or to achieve. So they would never give their earned money to anyone because they are already paying taxes to the authorities for the development of the country. A best epitome of this is a recent survey, conducted by Hindustan Times revealed that more than 30℅ rich people deny to give their remaining money to needy people because they are already paying huge taxes for welfare of the country. Secondly, why people do not agree to hand their remaining money to needy is due to misusage of that money. For instance, many beggars on the roadside or at any public places beg money not to fulfill their basic necessities: food, shelter and clothes but to use that money in evil deeds. Moreover, they start taking drugs at early age, and get addicted to them. In addition to this, they never utilise that money in good way which further decline their growth, and the level of country' s poverty remained at same position instead of decreasing. Nevertheless, as we have many answers to this question however, on balance I tend to believe that collide effort s of both individual and government can curb this issue because it is not only the responsibility of citizens but authorities too.
It is
certainly
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays indispensable role to fulfill our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
needs.
However
, one of the most controversial here is of remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
after fulfilling our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
needs; should that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
or not? I am completely
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and shall explore the same facets in the upcoming paragraphs.

There are ample of reasons why the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
after fulfilling our
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
.
First
and foremost reason is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and struggle. The person who has huge amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has earned it by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and struggle in their life.
Moreover
, they spent midnight lamps to earn it or to achieve.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they would never give their earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to anyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are already paying taxes to the authorities for the development of the country.
Use "the" with the superlative.
A
best epitome of this is a recent survey, conducted by Hindustan Times revealed that more than 30℅ rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'deny' is used with the gerund form: "deny giving".
deny to give
their remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are already paying huge taxes for welfare of the country.

Secondly
, why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to hand their remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
is due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
misusage
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beggars on the roadside or at any public places beg
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
not to fulfill their
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
: food, shelter and clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in evil deeds.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking drugs at early age, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to them.
In addition
to this, they never
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way which
further
decline their growth, and the level of
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s poverty remained at same position
instead
of decreasing.

Nevertheless
, as we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
answers to this question
however
, on balance I tend to believe that collide effort s of both individual and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can curb this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the responsibility of citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
authorities too.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay One should have enough money to fulfill our basic needs and rest of the should be given to needy people. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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