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One of the most pressing problems facing the world today is overpopulation. What policies do you believe governments should adopt to address the causes and effect of this problem? v.1

One of the most pressing problems facing the world today is overpopulation. What policies do you believe governments should adopt to address the causes and effect of this problem? v. 1
It is a bitter truth that the population has increased worldwide. There are several reasons as well as the impacts of it on the nation. Politicians should take some proper decisions and rules to overcome the same. Policies which should be adopted by the government are described in the ensuing paragraphs with relevant examples. Mainly, there are many causes of the increased mass of people such as, unawareness, lack of education along with less medical resources. Politicians should increase the facilities of education. Furthermore, they should develop health services which can give a proper guidance to the public. Additionally, they should make some rules to overcome this problem. For example, China made a legislation which allows parents to bear only one child. Therefore, such steps should be taken by the government to overcome the issue of globalization. On the other hand, there are very bad impacts of this major issue on the nation such as unemployment, pollution, traffic, lack of energy sources along with destroyed nature. Political parties should increase the energy sources like, food and fuel. Moreover, they can increase the cost of the same, so that, people limit the wastage of that. For instance, in my home country India, the price of petrol has increased in a large extent. They should grow more trees to save the environment. Thereby, there are many remedies for the bad consequences of globalization. To sum up, there are many possible ways by which we can inhibit the growth of population. Without wasting the time and a money on the other things, the government should make such policies to save the nation and for the better development of a country.
It is a bitter truth that the population has increased worldwide. There are several reasons
as well
as the impacts of it on the nation. Politicians should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proper decisions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to overcome the same. Policies which should
be adopted
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in the ensuing paragraphs with relevant examples.

Mainly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes of the increased mass of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as, unawareness, lack of education along with less medical resources. Politicians should increase the facilities of education.
Furthermore
, they should develop health services which can give a proper guidance to the public.
Additionally
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to overcome this problem.
For example
, China made a legislation which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
parents to bear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one child.
Therefore
, such steps should
be taken
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to overcome the issue of globalization.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts of this major issue on the nation such as unemployment, pollution, traffic, lack of energy sources along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
nature. Political parties should increase the energy sources like, food and fuel.
Moreover
, they can increase the cost of the same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
limit the wastage of that.
For instance
, in my home country India, the price of petrol has increased in a large extent. They should grow more trees to save the environment. Thereby, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
remedies for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences of globalization.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possible ways by which we can inhibit the growth of population. Without wasting the time and
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "money".
a money
on the other things, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
such policies to save the nation and for the better development of a country.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay One of the most pressing problems facing the world today is overpopulation. What policies do you believe governments should adopt to address the causes and effect of this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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