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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage? v.19

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage? v. 19
With the advances in technology and the use of modern facilities the medical responsibility has advanced increasing the heart span of the people. Although, they share with the community their knowledge and growth experiences which in turn leads to development, they put a pressure on the family and the financial system of the company. In my opinion, with the enhancement in healthcare facilities more benefits are provided to the world which will be discussed further in this essay People will live prolonged, healthy and energetic lives with refinement in the medical amenities as it will provide a remedy for nearly all the world's ailments as well as they actively participate in many sports like golf, chess and so on. In fact, the older and more experienced generation of the company will gift to the humanity their knowledge. For example, many professors, researchers, writers and scientist can impart their life experiences, expertise and knowledge with the younger generation. Furthermore, these are an asset to the companies as they are enriched with erudition, skills and experiences which will help in the growth and expansion of the organisation. On the contrary, owing to the advanced medical technology, there are some drawbacks connected with the increase in human growth expectancy. Firstly, the old generation is a burden on the civilization as they are more prone to health power treatments and diseases. This will put a pressure on the government as they will have to spend more money on medical equipment’s, medicine and health authority rehabilitation. For example, countries like Japan have a financial burden to heal and cure the diseases of the company's elderly people. In fact, more doctors and nurses will be employed which means more money will be disposed of as they salaries. Secondly, the senior citizens put a constraint on the family as they will have to spend more time on taking restraint of their physical conditions and taking them to the doctors for regular check ups along with doing the job. Due to which they will not have any time for their own or their children. To conclude, older generations are not a burden on the country’s financial economy and their family instead, they are contributing actively in the community by enlightening us with their understanding, expertness and lifelong achievements.
With the advances in technology and the
use
of modern facilities the
medical
responsibility has advanced increasing the heart span of the
people
. Although, they share with the community their knowledge and growth experiences which in turn leads to development, they put a pressure on the family and the financial system of the
company
. In my opinion, with the enhancement in healthcare facilities more benefits
are provided
to the world which will
be discussed
further
in this
essay


People
will
live
prolonged, healthy and energetic
lives
with refinement in the
medical
amenities as it will provide a remedy for
nearly
all the world's ailments
as well
as they
actively
participate in
many
sports like golf, chess and
so
on. In fact, the older and more experienced generation of the
company
will gift to the humanity their knowledge.
For example
,
many
professors, researchers, writers and scientist can impart their life experiences, expertise and knowledge with the younger generation.
Furthermore
, these are an asset to the
companies
as they
are enriched
with erudition,
skills
and experiences which will
help
in the growth and expansion of the
organisation
.

On the contrary
, owing to the advanced
medical
technology, there are
some
drawbacks connected with the increase in human growth expectancy.
Firstly
, the
old
generation is a burden on the civilization as they are more prone to health power treatments and diseases. This will put a pressure on the
government
as they will
have to
spend more money on
medical
equipment’s, medicine and health authority rehabilitation.
For example
, countries like Japan have a financial burden to heal and cure the diseases of the
company
's elderly
people
. In fact, more doctors and nurses will
be employed
which means more money will
be disposed
of as
they salaries
.
Secondly
, the senior citizens put a constraint on the family as they will
have to
spend more time on taking restraint of their physical conditions and taking them to the doctors for regular
check
ups along with doing the job. Due to which they will not have any time for their
own
or their children.

To conclude
, older generations are not a burden on the country’s financial economy and their family
instead
, they are contributing
actively
in the community by enlightening us with their understanding, expertness and lifelong achievements.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage? v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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