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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectanccy is encreasing. do ypu think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectanccy is encreasing. do ypu think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
The medical treatment enhancement has led to an improvement in person's longevity and a rise in life expectancy. This essay will argue that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. Furthermore, it will be discussed the quality of life, although medical improvements extend the time people of life, followed by an analysis of the main disadvantages, such as the costs of medicines and healthcare system. In many countries health care is not provided for the entire population and the costs of insurance and medication even if, partially covered by the employee insurance program results prohibitive. As a consequence, only a small amount of people are able to afford the expense. For instance, as reported in the Washington Post a decrease of the 2% in hospitalization, has been recorded in the USA for the 2017, in comparison to the previous year, with an increase from 10, 200 $ to 11, 500$ in the cost per stay in the same years. However, medical care improvements are remarkable and permit people to live a happy old age, this independence is possible only on condition that they could benefit a good state of well being. For example, a person afflicted with Alzheimer despite those progress will not be able to enjoy a normal old age due to the nature of the disease itself. In conclusion, even though several medical enhancements have been reached the prohibitive cost of the treatments due to a private health care system make the drawbacks overwhelm the advantages.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment enhancement has led to an improvement in person's longevity and a rise in life expectancy. This essay will argue that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits.

Furthermore
, it will
be discussed
the quality of life, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
improvements extend the time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of life, followed by an analysis of the main disadvantages, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of medicines and healthcare system.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
health care is not provided for the entire population and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of insurance and medication even if,
partially
covered by the employee insurance program results prohibitive. As a consequence,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to afford the expense.
For instance
, as reported in the Washington Post a decrease of the 2% in hospitalization, has
been recorded
in the USA for the 2017,
in comparison
to the previous year, with an increase from 10,
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$200".
200 $
to 11,
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$500".
500$
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
per stay in the same years.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care improvements are remarkable and permit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age, this independence is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on condition that they could benefit a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
state of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
For example
, a person afflicted with Alzheimer despite those progress will not be able to enjoy a normal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age due to the nature of the disease itself.

In conclusion
,
even though
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
enhancements have
been reached
the prohibitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of the treatments due to a private health care system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the drawbacks overwhelm the advantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectanccy is encreasing. do ypu think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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