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Once children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Once children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. v. 2
Children learn various knowledge and skills from adults around them. Some people think that the influence of teachers in terms of students' cognitive and social improvement is more significant than that of the student's parents upon the commencement of study at academic institutions. In my personal opinion, while the role of teachers in assisting children's development is recognised, students are primarily influenced by their parents. The importance of the teacher's role in providing a guidance is well recognised. Children learn how to interact with peers and obtain new academic theories and skills through classroom activities. For example, in case of conflict between children at school, it is the teacher's responsibility to solve the issue and give children a lesson. Nonetheless, they have a responsibility for all the students in a classroom, hence, I believe that teachers should focus on providing basic academic information and skills and cooperate with parents in developing them further. Children's behaviour often reflects of their family members. It is true that students with compromised family background often have behavioural issues at school, for instance. While teachers can contribute to fixing the issue, it cannot be fully solved without parental support. In addition, as teachers are there to provide basic knowledge and skills, parents should assist their children in consolidating these skills learnt in a classroom. In conclusion, while children are assisted by teachers at school in gaining basic knowledge and skills, it is predominantly parents who influence their children. Henceforth, a mutual understanding and a cooperation between teachers and parents are critical in giving positive influence on pupils.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
learn various knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
from adults around them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in terms of students' cognitive and social improvement is more significant than that of the student's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
upon the commencement of study at academic institutions. In my personal opinion, while the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in assisting children's development is
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
, students are
primarily
influenced by their parents.

The importance of the teacher's role in providing a guidance is well
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
learn how to interact with peers and obtain new academic theories and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
through classroom activities.
For example
, in case of conflict between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at school, it is the teacher's responsibility to solve the issue and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a lesson. Nonetheless, they have a responsibility for all the students in a classroom,
hence
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should focus on providing basic academic information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and cooperate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in developing them
further
.

Children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reflects of their family members. It is true that students with compromised family background
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
issues at school,
for instance
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can contribute to fixing the issue, it cannot be
fully
solved without parental support.
In addition
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are there to provide basic knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should assist their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in consolidating these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in a classroom.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are assisted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
at school in gaining basic knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, it is
predominantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who influence their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Henceforth, a mutual understanding and a cooperation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are critical in giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on pupils.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Once children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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