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In recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions. v.2

In recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions. v. 2
The rate of crime in cities around the world is on the increase and studies have shown that a majority of these crimes are committed by young adults living in popular cities. This essay will discuss this problem, state the reasons, as well as suggested solutions. Firstly, persons who are just starting out in life tend to be extravagant and bothered with peer pressure. They want to live a lifestyle which is above their means, so as to impress their friends and colleagues at work. In the process, they attract criminals who attack them to steal their valuables. For example, laptops are frequently stolen by these adolescents so as to keep up with their expensive way of life. To resolve this, all computing devices imported into the country should have a unique identification which can be traced irrespective of the location. So if a computing device is stolen, it can be found. Secondly, unemployment, which is of great concern to society. A recent survey showed that sixty-seven percent of youths are without jobs in the nation. This has led to an increased breaking into homes, shops, and offices. The reason for this is because these youths can't take care of themselves and they need to survive. For example, the gold store in the shopping mall was recently broken into and several gold items were carted away. By providing a means of income for the youthful ones, they will be engaged in one occupation or another thereby, reducing the rate of criminal offences. The Government can open up several sectors of the economy so as to engage them in productive ventures. In conclusion, a community that is safe to live in will enjoy relative peace and harmony when compared to a society infested with all manner of social vices which gives the society unprintable names, leading to being tagged a bad country.
The rate of crime in cities around the world is on the increase and studies have shown that a majority of these crimes
are committed
by young adults living in popular cities. This essay will discuss this problem, state the reasons,
as well
as suggested solutions.

Firstly
, persons who are
just
starting out in life tend to be extravagant and bothered with peer pressure. They want to
live
a lifestyle which is above their means,
so as to
impress their friends and colleagues at work. In the process, they attract criminals who attack them to steal their valuables.
For example
, laptops are
frequently
stolen by these adolescents
so as to
keep
up with their expensive way of life. To resolve this, all computing devices imported into the country should have a unique identification which can
be traced
irrespective of the location.
So
if a computing device
is stolen
, it can
be found
.

Secondly
, unemployment, which is of great concern to society. A recent survey
showed
that sixty-seven percent of youths are without jobs in the nation. This has led to an increased breaking into homes, shops, and offices.
The reason for this is
because
these youths can't take care of
themselves and
they need to survive.
For example
, the gold store in the shopping mall was recently broken into and several gold items
were carted
away. By providing a means of income for the youthful ones, they will
be engaged
in one occupation or another thereby, reducing the rate of criminal
offences
. The
Government
can open up several sectors of the economy
so as to
engage them in productive ventures.

In conclusion
, a community
that is
safe to
live
in will enjoy relative peace and harmony when compared to a society infested with all manner of social vices which gives the society unprintable names, leading to
being tagged
a
bad
country.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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