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Old people get bored after retirement. Explain the causes and solutions. v.1

Old people get bored after retirement. Explain the causes and solutions. v. 1
How lovely would it have been, if one could maintain a working status quo throughout a lifetime? Unfortunately, this is not the situation with the geriatrics. Evidently, they become unenthusiastic after their active years of service. Probably because of weakness and not having anything to do, but there are ways out of this menace. Although there are countless reasons the elderly get world-weary in their later years. One reason is the fact that their activities reduce and they became sedentary since they would not be able to go out and fend for themselves as former. Therefore, they are restricted to be indoors. Another cause could be due to their fragility. Inadvertently, the older generations get weaker as they grow and are advised to minimise their engagements. As a result, they are not permitted to take part in tedious exercises and this increases their boredom. For instance, the majority might not be conversant with being in the house all day since they go to work, but the moment there is nowhere to go, life becomes miserable and discomforting. However, there are numerous ways to allay the unpleasant situation. Firstly, the government should create an avenue for them to still be relevant in society. In other words, those who are agile should be allowed to continue their profession. For instance, retired lecturers and teachers could lecture and teach on a part-time basis. Secondly, the authorities should build recreational centres basically for them. In such places, there would be talks on how to keep fit even in old age, free gym service also to keep them healthy. Finally, there could be a team that would be going around to visit and engage those who are too feeble to move around so they do not fall into depression. In conclusion, in as much as there are various causes of boredom in old age, extending their service years and engaging recreational in recreational activities are means this could be eradicated.
How lovely would it have been, if one could maintain a working status quo throughout a lifetime? Unfortunately, this is not the situation with the geriatrics.
Evidently
, they become unenthusiastic after their active years of service.
Probably
because
of weakness and not having anything to do,
but
there are ways out of this menace.

Although
there are countless reasons the elderly
get
world-weary in their later years. One reason is the fact that their activities
reduce and
they became sedentary since they would not be able to go out and fend for themselves as former.
Therefore
, they
are restricted
to be indoors. Another cause could be due to their fragility.
Inadvertently
, the older generations
get
weaker as they grow and
are advised
to
minimise
their engagements.
As a result
, they are not permitted to
take part
in tedious exercises and this increases their boredom.
For instance
, the majority might not be conversant with being in the
house
all day since they go to work,
but
the moment there is nowhere to go, life becomes miserable and discomforting.

However
, there are numerous ways to allay the unpleasant situation.
Firstly
, the
government
should create an avenue for them to
still
be relevant in society.
In other words
, those who are agile should be
allowed
to continue their profession.
For instance
, retired lecturers and teachers could lecture and teach on a part-time basis.
Secondly
, the authorities should build recreational
centres
basically
for them. In such places, there would be talks on how to
keep
fit even in
old
age, free gym service
also
to
keep
them healthy.
Finally
, there could be a team that would be going around to visit and engage those who are too feeble to
move
around
so
they do not fall into depression.

In conclusion
, in as much as there are various causes of boredom in
old
age, extending their service years and engaging recreational in recreational activities are means this could
be eradicated
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Old people get bored after retirement. Explain the causes and solutions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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