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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.33

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 33
In today's world, technological advancements coupled with a strong economy has sparkled the thoughts of many countries as to whether new rail lines for super fast trains should be constructed, or financial revenues must be spent for the betterment of existing public transport. Which one is appropriate in the present day scenario, is a question to be answered. Now-a-days, humongous amounts of money are spent for building very fast bullet trains. The introduction of such modes of commute can enable passengers to collocate within a short span of time. Consequently, people shift to suburbs as commute time is now lower than before. For instance, in India, a new bullet train had been inaugurated last year, which was scheduled to travel from Mumbai to Ahmedabad within an hour. Although, the budget spent for its construction was as high as thousand millions, it results in lesser pressure on the resources in the urban areas. Also, this state-of-the-art technology opens avenues in tourism and backs the economy of the country. However, some have a more frugal approach and prefer investing finances on our very own public transport. Not only is this an environmentally friendly, conservation and sustainable approach, but also a cost-effective and prudent way to improve day-to-day travel of citizens. For example, most citizens commute to work every day and would prefer a comfortable mode of reaching their destination. Spending on its enhancement is essential as short distance travel is necessary in everyday life. Therefore, instead of spending huge amounts of money and burning a hole in the government's pocket, betterment of general modes of transit is advisable. To summarize, although constructing railway lines for fast trains between cities would pump up the tourism industry, a more sustainable and eco-friendly option would be to work towards the betterment of existing public transport, is my opinion.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, technological advancements coupled with a strong economy has sparkled the thoughts of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
new rail lines for super
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
should
be constructed
, or financial revenues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be spent
for the betterment of existing public transport. Which one is appropriate in the present day scenario, is a question to
be answered
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days, humongous amounts of money
are spent
for building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
bullet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
. The introduction of such modes of commute can enable passengers to collocate within a short span of time.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
shift to suburbs as commute time is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
lower than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For instance
, in India, a new bullet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
had
been inaugurated
last year, which
was scheduled
to travel from Mumbai to Ahmedabad within an hour. Although, the budget spent for its construction was as high as
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
millions, it results in lesser pressure on the resources in the urban areas.
Also
, this state-of-the-art technology opens avenues in tourism and backs the economy of the country.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have a more frugal approach and prefer investing finances on our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
public transport. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is this an
environmentally
friendly, conservation and sustainable approach,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a cost-effective and prudent way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
day-to-day travel of citizens.
For example
, most citizens commute to work every day and would prefer a comfortable mode of reaching their destination. Spending on its enhancement is essential as short distance travel is necessary in everyday life.
Therefore
,
instead
of spending huge amounts of money and burning a hole in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's pocket, betterment of general modes of transit is advisable.

To summarize
, although constructing railway lines for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
between cities would pump up the tourism industry, a more sustainable and eco-friendly option would be to work towards the betterment of existing public transport, is my opinion.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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