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Old generations often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life thinking and behavior However some people think that these ideas are not helpful for the young people to prepare for modern life What s your opinion v.1

Old generations often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life thinking and behavior However some people think that these ideas are not helpful for the young people to prepare for modern life What s your opinion v. 1
The approach towards how business works have changed to a great extent now as compared to the previous old school methods. Some argue that the younger generation lacks the basic cooperative skills required for doing their job. This essay will discuss the reason behind them and provide solutions for improving these skills. The reason behind this can be the internet and less interaction. Nowadays it has become very easy to get access to the information and solution to any problems in the internet very easily. Because of this employee do not try to interact with their colleagues and work on their own. Due the wide knowledge provided by the internet people tends to think that they don't need help and are superior to others. Since almost everything can be learnt online there has been very less interaction between employees, leading to not know each other on a personal level. This does not let the people bond and they are unable to create a comfortable environment for them. For instance, if we get two people who already know each other to work on a task, the task will be completed in less time and with more efficiency since they will cooperate and divide their work accordingly. The solution to these problems could be arranging monthly or weekly meetings/gatherings with team building activities where the employees can not only discuss about the task that they are working on, but can also play games which will allow them to know each other and become comfortable. The other thing that can be done is to arrange seminars or trainings to share knowledge and to learn new skills through group discussions. In conclusion, team bonding is the key to a cooperative environment and better quality business.
The approach towards how business works have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to a great extent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as compared to the previous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
school methods.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that the younger generation lacks the basic cooperative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required for doing their job. This essay will discuss the reason behind them and provide solutions for improving these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

The reason behind this can be the internet and less interaction. Nowadays it has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to the information and solution to any problems
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
.
Because of this
employee do not try to interact with their colleagues and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
It appears that a preposition is missing after 'Due'.
Due the
wide knowledge provided by the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
tends
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they don't need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and are superior to others. Since almost everything can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
online there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less interaction between employees, leading to not know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
on a personal level. This does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
bond and
they are unable to create a comfortable environment for them.
For instance
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who already know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on a task, the task will
be completed
in less time and with more efficiency since they will cooperate and divide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
accordingly
.

The solution to these problems could be arranging monthly or weekly meetings/gatherings with team building activities where the employees can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
task that they are working on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
also
play games which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and become comfortable. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
thing that can
be done
is to arrange seminars or trainings to share knowledge and to learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through group discussions.

In conclusion
, team bonding is the key to a cooperative environment and better quality business.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Old generations often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life thinking and behavior However some people think that these ideas are not helpful for the young people to prepare for modern life What s your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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