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Express your opinion about how modernism can affect our health. what can the government do to overcome such circumstances? Discuss. v.2

Express your opinion about how modernism can affect our health. what can the government do to overcome such circumstances? Discuss. v. 2
Gone are the days when people used to long walks on feet, muscular jobs at fields and many more physical activities. In today' s era where modernism drew each and everything to its lap those effects human beings in both ways positive and negative. Tn this essay, I shall discuss the pros and cons of this modernism with my own opinion and share the ideas what can a government do to eradicate this nightmare. On the positive side, the new fast era is making our life so quick, easy, and comfortable with new inventions. For instance, we are now used to phones, cars and many other household things which provide a comfortable lifestyle. However, such things are having more bad effects on our life. For example, nowadays, a major section of our society is lazy, dull, and suffering many life-threatening diseases. This is negative progress as we are living in such a bad lifestyle. To plunge this nightmare, a government can introduce a bunch of effective measures with the help of local people and their community. To prove this, the government of the nation can create a law or start a campaign which bans the smartphones, motorbikes in the secondary level schools and motivate students to focus on more physical activities rather than wasting their precious time on phones and roaming on bikes. Furthermore, the government can provide more playground and create physical obstacles in order to achieve a job instead of online stuff that makes students lazy, couch-potato and hurt their back and eyes. I think, no doubt modernism has changed our lifestyle to quick, and comfortable but we cannot turn a blind eye on its bad impact. People and the government must secure such steps towards its harmful effects now and create valuable opportunities for our loving society in order to protect this generation as well as our future.
Gone
are
the days when
people
used
to long walks on feet, muscular jobs at fields and
many
more physical activities. In
today&
#039; s era where modernism drew each and everything to its lap those effects human beings in both ways
positive
and
negative
. Tn this essay, I shall discuss the pros and cons of this modernism with my
own
opinion and share the
ideas
what can a
government
do to eradicate this nightmare.

On the
positive
side, the new
fast
era is making our life
so
quick, easy, and comfortable with new inventions.
For instance
, we are
now
used
to phones, cars and
many
other household things which provide a comfortable lifestyle.
However
, such things are having more
bad
effects on our life.
For example
, nowadays, a major section of our society is lazy, dull, and suffering
many
life-threatening diseases. This is
negative
progress as we are living in such a
bad
lifestyle.

To plunge this nightmare, a
government
can introduce a bunch of effective measures with the
help
of local
people
and their community. To prove this, the
government
of the nation can create a law or
start
a campaign which bans the smartphones, motorbikes in the secondary level schools and motivate students to focus on more physical activities
rather
than wasting their precious time on phones and roaming on bikes.
Furthermore
, the
government
can provide more playground and create physical obstacles in order to achieve a job
instead
of online stuff that
makes
students lazy, couch-potato and hurt their back and eyes.

I
think
, no doubt modernism has
changed
our lifestyle to quick, and comfortable
but
we cannot turn a blind eye on its
bad
impact.
People
and the
government
must
secure such steps towards its harmful effects
now
and create valuable opportunities for our loving society in order to protect this generation
as well
as our future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Express your opinion about how modernism can affect our health. what can the government do to overcome such circumstances? Discuss. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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