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These days people in some country are living in a "throw-away" society which mean people use things in a short time then throw them away. What are its causes and what are its problems? What could be done to address this issue? v.1

These days people in some country are living in a "throw-away" society which mean people use things in a short time then throw them away. What are its causes and what are its problems? What could be done to address this issue? v. 1
In this day and age, people no longer appreciate the value of objects and taking into consideration of shopping, leading to a great deal of issues. This writing will analyse some primary reasons as well as potential solutions. It is obvious that the manufacturers provide people with such a wide range of goods being attractively designed with a surprisingly affordable price means that customers tend to be replace their old products which can still be used with a more impressive edition. Taking fashion as an instance, people who are fond of fashion always willing to take a possession of the most up-to-the-minute items, which can cost an arm and a leg but subsequently, discarding it immediately when it is out of date. In addition, the phenomenon of take-away industry also makes a great contribution of waste as busy workers find it more convenient to have meals in the disposable packaging which can throw away after finishing than eating on the spot. If people keep living in a "throw-away" society, there is more likely to have a substantial drawback affecting them. The more garbage people dispose, the more landfill space it takes. As a result, the lack of land for agriculture or accomodation can not meet all the fundamental needs of people in the long term. Furthermore, the single-use plastic in the waste we eliminate to the ocean cannot be totally disintegrated, but just can break down to the micro plastics that can be eaten by fishes and consequently, people eat these fishes which have a negative impact on people's health. For the solution, I suggested that people should get used to utilize materials that able to reuse or recycle as well as taking into consideration before purchasing. Not only individual responsibility but also the government should share the burden by establishing environmental policy and propagandizing the residents. Overall, I firmly believe that people can both make full use of the convenience of this digital age and preserving the environment.
In this day and age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer appreciate the value of objects and
You have fused two expressions into one, "in consideration of" and "taking into consideration." Remove the word "of" from the end: "taking into consideration".
taking into consideration of
shopping, leading to a great deal of issues. This writing will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
primary reasons
as well
as potential solutions.

It is obvious that the manufacturers provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with such a wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
being
attractively
designed with a
surprisingly
affordable price means that customers tend to be
Consider using a past participle here: "replaced".
replace
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
products which can
still
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
with a more impressive edition. Taking fashion as an instance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are fond of fashion always willing to take a possession of the most up-to-the-minute items, which can cost an arm and a leg
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
subsequently
, discarding it immediately when it is out of date.
In addition
, the phenomenon of take-away industry
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a great contribution of waste as busy workers find it more convenient to have meals in the disposable packaging which can throw away after finishing than eating on the spot.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
living in a
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
throw-away
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
society, there is more likely to have a substantial drawback affecting them. The more garbage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dispose, the more landfill space it takes.
As a result
, the lack of land for agriculture or
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all the fundamental needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the long term.
Furthermore
, the single-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
plastic in the waste we eliminate to the ocean cannot be
totally
disintegrated,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
can break down to the
This word is normally spelled as one.
micro plastics
that can
be eaten
by fishes and
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat these fishes which have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health.

For the solution, I suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to utilize materials that able to reuse or recycle
as well
as taking into consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
individual responsibility
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should share the burden by establishing environmental policy and propagandizing the residents.

Overall
, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
full
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the convenience of this digital age and preserving the environment.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay These days people in some country are living in a "throw-away" society which mean people use things in a short time then throw them away. What are its causes and what are its problems? What could be done to address this issue? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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