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Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.14

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. v. 14
One of the most conspicuous trends in today's world is media channels. Some people believe that news channels focus only on controversies rather than focus on global problems. On the other hand, others argue that the media have their limitations and freedom to choose content that need to be telecasted. As such, there are both merits and demerits for this trend. I agree that all media content should be equally distributed and cover all the matters with equal importance for social harmony. Firstly, there is a deluge of arguments and the most preponderant is that corporate style, working to influence news television programs focuses more on commercials and less focus on content. Moreover, media broadcasts are free to air and the only income generated is through advertising commercials through rating. For instance, a recent survey suggests that half of the television viewers are loosing interest in watching the news because of too long commercials. Needless to say, money minded business mentality made television more boring and less appealing programs. Secondly, another pivotal aspect is that to gain instant rating and popularity controversies are the only possible way to gain huge viewers. In addition, change in viewers tastes made media representatives shift their focus from positive development programs to advertise programs. For example, Foxstar media had huge losses in its recent sports sponsorship and trying to earn more money from commercials to pacify the loss incurred. Hence, the media have chosen to make money out of their programs and not to spread awareness or to benefit people. In conclusion, one can clearly understand that financial burden can make press agents to shift their focus from innovative programs to controversial content. Finally, the role of the media is too dire to ignore.
One of the most conspicuous trends in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
channels.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that news channels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on controversies
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
on global problems.
On the other hand
, others argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have their limitations and freedom to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
that need to be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
. As such, there are both merits and demerits for this trend. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
should be
equally
distributed and cover all the matters with equal importance for social harmony.

Firstly
, there is a deluge of arguments and the most preponderant is that corporate style, working to influence news television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
focuses more on commercials and less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
broadcasts are free to air and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
income generated is through advertising commercials through rating.
For instance
, a recent survey suggests that half of the television viewers are loosing interest in watching the news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of too long commercials. Needless to say, money minded business mentality made television more boring and less appealing programs.

Secondly
, another pivotal aspect is that to gain instant rating and popularity controversies are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible way to gain huge viewers.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in viewers tastes made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
representatives shift their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
to advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Foxstar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
had huge losses in its recent sports sponsorship and trying to earn more money from commercials to pacify the loss incurred.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have chosen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money out of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and not to spread awareness or to benefit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, one can
clearly
understand that financial burden can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
press agents to shift their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
from innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
to controversial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
.
Finally
, the role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is too dire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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