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Nowadays there are many medical surveys cost treatment to reduce health problems. Who should conduct them governments, individuals or private companies, in your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own experiences. v.1

Nowadays there are many medical surveys cost treatment to reduce health problems. Who should conduct them governments, individuals or private companies, in your opinion? v. 1
Nowadays, people have different views about children studying art in school. While some consider it an important subject, others believe it is totally unnecessary. In my opinion, art is vital for the educational development of a child and should be part of the academic curriculum. Taking art classes is critical for young school children. This is because it makes them more creative as they are given the freedom to express their ideas and imaginations. Moreover, they find art an interesting subject to study especially as it is mostly thought in a relaxed environment aiding in improving the mental health and consequently enhancing their academic performance. A recent scientific journal reviewed the lives of the world's top inventors and noted that most of them had extremely good art skills linking art to intelligence. On the other hand, taking art as a subject may be viewed as time wasting because some believe it plays little or no role in improving the lives of people the way science and technology does. For instance, electricity which is a scientific innovation has made life much more comfortable. In addition the decline in support of art by the government in terms of funding has drastically reduced the popularity of art works making art a less viable career option. For these reasons pupils are encouraged not to value art. In conclusion, some are against the study of art because they feel it does not affect the lives of people directly. However, I absolutely believe that art is an extremely important subject to study because of its role in mental health development.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about children studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in school. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consider it an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, others believe it is
totally
unnecessary. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is vital for the educational development of a child and should be part of the academic curriculum.

Taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
classes is critical for young school children. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more creative as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the freedom to express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and imaginations.
Moreover
, they find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
an interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to study
especially
as it is
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in a relaxed environment aiding in improving the mental health and
consequently
enhancing their academic performance. A recent scientific journal reviewed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the world's top inventors and noted that most of them had
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
linking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
to intelligence.

On the other hand
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
may
be viewed
as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time wasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe it plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no role in improving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the way science and technology does.
For instance
, electricity which is a scientific innovation has made life much more comfortable. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the decline in support of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in terms of funding has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
works making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
a less viable career option. For these reasons pupils
are encouraged
not to value art.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are against the study of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel it does not affect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
directly
.
However
, I
absolutely
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its role in mental health development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays there are many medical surveys cost treatment to reduce health problems. Who should conduct them governments, individuals or private companies, in your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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