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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.22

It is irrefutable that in this technological era, global has changed into small village. Masses have altered their lifestyle to communicate with others as these days, they feel more suitable to keep in touch with their near and dear ones by using technological gadgets rather than by meeting them personally in face-to-face. After going delve deeper, in my opinion, this phenomenon leads to more positive outcomes and negative. To embark on, technology has become part and parcel of individual's life as it contributes up to great extent to make their life not only easy and comfortable, but also help them to save their contacts for longer time as with the help of internet, people can make audio as well as video calls and send messages to anyone regardless the boundaries without taking too much time and can express their happiness and sorrow to others which assist them to strong their sense of belongings. Moreover, it provides the way to broad their social circle which leads not only to adapt tradition and culture of other community, but also increases job opportunities for job seekers. In addition to this, technology has also alleviated the problem of family disputes because in bygone era, owing to long distances, people were not enabled to keep themselves in contact with their loving ones, but now, they can talk with them even in economical prices. A painstaking research has had been conducted by Forbes which disclosed that divorce rate has significantly declined by two-thirds in India just because of technological gadgets which help individuals to stay with touch their families. To conclude, although there are minor drawbacks of technology, but it could be negligible because technology has created life changing results for both individuals and society by saving relations among people.
It is irrefutable that in this technological era, global has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village. Masses have altered their lifestyle to communicate with others as these days, they feel more suitable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their near and dear ones by using technological gadgets
rather
than by meeting them
personally
in face-to-face. After going delve deeper, in my opinion, this phenomenon leads to more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

To embark on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has become part and parcel of individual's life as it contributes up to great extent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
easy and comfortable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to save their contacts for longer time as with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
audio
as well
as video calls and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages to anyone regardless the boundaries without taking too much time and can express their happiness and sorrow to others which assist them to strong their sense of belongings.
Moreover
, it provides the way to broad their social circle which leads not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to adapt tradition and culture of other community,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increases job opportunities for job seekers.

In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
also
alleviated the problem of family disputes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in bygone era, owing to long distances,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were not enabled to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves in contact with their loving ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, they can talk with them even in economical prices. A painstaking research has had
been conducted
by Forbes which disclosed that divorce rate has
significantly
declined by two-thirds in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technological gadgets which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals to stay with touch their families.

To conclude
, although there are minor drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it could be negligible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has created life changing results for both individuals and society by saving relations among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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