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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.14

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 14
The telephone and other new technologies have surpassed our wildest expectations since their invention, and they have revolutionized people’s everyday life, particularly the way they interact with others. New technologies, smartphones, the internet, and different social networking sites, have huge impacts on the relationships people make. For business people, they can hold a teleconference with partners who live in distant places, whereas before the development of the internet, people rarely had chances to meet or cooperate with anyone outside their immediate circle or community. Furthermore, they alter the way students who live far away from their home communicate with their parents. For example, WeChat or Skype are convenient tools for strengthening their relationships at almost no cost of money. Also, ordinary people can discover and join in discussions with people with similar interests in social groups, which provides them with an alternative way to make friends. On the other hand, I believe that this trend has more drawbacks than its benefits. Although they bring convenience to people's interactions, social media and electronic devices seem to tear the society apart. Rather than individual people participating in their local community, they are instead choosing to pay more attention to people online. When they indulge in a virtual world and talk with unfamiliar people, they are more likely to ignore people around them and weaken their ability to have face-to-face communication. As a result, communities are no longer forming close and supportive relationships, and eventually, the society as a whole will fragment. To conclude, although technology facilitates the way people communicate with each other, the addiction to new technologies will bring about undesirable outcomes to society.
The telephone and other new
technologies
have surpassed our wildest expectations since their invention, and they have revolutionized
people’s
everyday life,
particularly
the way they interact with others.

New
technologies
, smartphones, the internet, and
different
social networking sites, have huge impacts on the relationships
people
make
. For business
people
, they can hold a teleconference with partners who
live
in distant places, whereas
before
the development of the internet,
people
rarely had chances to
meet
or cooperate with anyone outside their immediate circle or community.
Furthermore
, they alter the way students who
live
far away from their home communicate with their parents.
For example
, WeChat or Skype are convenient tools for strengthening their relationships at almost no cost of money.
Also
, ordinary
people
can discover and
join
in discussions with
people
with similar interests in social groups, which provides them with an alternative way to
make
friends.

On the other hand
, I believe that this trend has more drawbacks than its benefits. Although they bring convenience to
people
's interactions, social media and electronic devices seem to tear the society apart.
Rather
than individual
people
participating in their local community, they are
instead
choosing to pay more attention to
people
online. When they indulge in a virtual world and talk with unfamiliar
people
, they are more likely to
ignore
people
around them and weaken their ability to have face-to-face communication.
As a result
, communities are no longer forming close and supportive relationships, and
eventually
, the society as a whole will fragment.

To conclude
, although
technology
facilitates the way
people
communicate with each other, the addiction to new
technologies
will bring about undesirable outcomes to society.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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