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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationship people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.11

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationship people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 11
In these days, people are doing less exercise, which has a detrimental effect on their physical as well as mental health. Although it is believed by some people that watching international sports will inspire them to do exercise, others think that adults can be spurred by many other ways for doing exercise. In my opinion, there exists more better options through which people can be encouraged to do exercise. On the one hand, some people think that sporting events are helpful for inspiring people to involve in the physical activities. The main reason behind that thinking is that by seeing games people my join in the sports club, which will aid them to keep feet their health. For example, swimming has special requirement of body weight, which facilitates people to reduce weight and stay healthy. Another cause is that when adults show that sportsmen live a healthy and longer life compared to normal life, they become inspired to do exercise. Moreover, people try to follow sportsmen because they accept these players as idols. On the other hand, it is also thought that, except sporting events such as the Olympics and world cup, there are many ways of encouraging people to do exercise and I agree. One of the plausible reasons behind thins thinking is that people can be encouraged by telling them the benefits of exercising. For instance, diabetic patients can reduce their blood sugar by doing exercise for one hour in the morning. Moreover, for doing physical activities in the field or at home do not require to spend money, which is mandatory in case of joining in the sports club. Motivating people for exercising in the offices will also help to do exercises. In other words, when people will notice that exercising helps to keep calm and produce better results, they will do it. Furthermore, companies will also give extra incentives to employees for better productivity. In conclusion, while some think that porting helps to do physical exercisee, motivating adults by knowing the benefits of exercises are best way to involve them in exercising. View all IELTS writing sam
In these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, which has a detrimental effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
as well
as mental health. Although it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that watching international sports will inspire them to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that adults can
be spurred
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. In my opinion, there exists
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
options through which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be encouraged
to do exercise.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are helpful for inspiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to involve in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities. The main reason behind that thinking is that by seeing games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in the sports club, which will aid them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
feet their health.
For example
, swimming has special requirement of body weight, which facilitates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
weight and stay healthy. Another cause is that when adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that sportsmen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy and longer life compared to normal life, they become inspired to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to follow sportsmen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they accept these players as idols.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that, except sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as the Olympics and world cup, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways of encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. One of the plausible reasons behind thins thinking is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be encouraged
by telling them the benefits of exercising.
For instance
, diabetic patients can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their blood sugar by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
for one hour in the morning.
Moreover
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities in the field or at home do not require
Did you mean "spending"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to spend
money, which is mandatory in case of joining in the sports club. Motivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for exercising in the offices will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will notice that exercising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
calm and produce better results, they will do it.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will
also
give extra incentives to employees for better productivity.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that porting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
exercisee
, motivating adults by knowing the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
A determiner is probably missing here: "are the best".
are best
way to involve them in exercising.

View all IELTS writing
Possible spelling mistake found.
sam
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationship people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 11

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
350 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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