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Nowadays, the traditions and customs relating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing. Why is it happening? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative? v.2

Nowadays, the traditions and customs relating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing. Why is it happening? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative? v. 2
it cannot be denied that the culinary culture around the world is changing, and this trend has resulted in several consequences accompanying with many negative effects. To begin with, various traditions and customs related to the past are being lost due to the appearance of dietary. people go on a diet for weight loss, for diabetes and for other diseases. consequently, some illness may not be aggregate, and human life may be extended. kylie Jenner can be consider as an illustration of such a trend. under the strictly diet and training schedule, kylie has claimed to be kept in a perfect shaped to many women. The next reason causing the disparity in the eating way and food is the shortage of time. due to the rush of cycle of life in the modern society, the majority have chosen time-saving in way of eating. The examples of this is fast food that is served as take-away or drive-through in McDonald, or convenient canned food like bean or frozen food such as sea food are widely sold in the supermarket. These are choices for many people whose time is essential. Therefore, it is not easy to ignore the negative side of such a trend. Nowadays, several youngster enjoy a dietary with simple, light meal in order to losing weight. however, without consulting from specialists, many of those have established a diet lacking of nutrition and carbohydrate. Because of that, a lot of young people do not have sufficient energy for working and studying. this has long been cautious by the media. For instance, in Vietnam, there are many public cases where students suddenly fainted in classroom as a result of eating under a self-established diet. Furthermore, eating frozen food or canned food may not good for health. those foods may not retain all the original nutrition while canned, and may have been adding preservatives to extend longer. Additionally, fast food is not a better choice either, as most of fast food contains oil, which can caused severe disease like cancer or heart diseases if using in a long-term period. In conclusion, the negative impacts has emerged in accordance with the difference in the way of eating of human. I suppose that the same trend cannot be avoided in the future. however, it is critical for human beings to keep the old traditions and customs from the past as a part of cultural heritage.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
cannot
be denied
that the culinary culture around the world is changing, and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
has resulted in several consequences
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanying by".
accompanying with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, various traditions and customs related to the past are
being lost
due to the appearance of dietary.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
go on a diet for weight loss, for diabetes and for other diseases.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
illness may not be aggregate, and human life may
be extended
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
kylie
Jenner can be
Consider using the past participle "considered"?
consider
as an illustration of such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
under
the
strictly
diet and training schedule,
Possible spelling mistake found.
kylie
has claimed to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in a perfect shaped to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
women. The
next
reason causing the disparity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
way and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the shortage of time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to the rush of cycle of life in the modern society, the majority have chosen time-saving in way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
. The examples of this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that
is served
as take-away or drive-through in McDonald, or convenient canned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like bean or frozen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are
widely
sold in the supermarket. These are choices for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whose time is essential.

Therefore
, it is not easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
. Nowadays,
Possible agreement error. The noun youngster seems to be countable; consider using: "several youngsters".
several youngster
enjoy a dietary with simple, light meal in order to
Did you mean "lose"?
losing
weight.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, without consulting from specialists,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of those have established a diet lacking of nutrition and carbohydrate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have sufficient energy for working and studying.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
has long been cautious by the media.
For instance
, in Vietnam, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
public cases where students
suddenly
fainted in classroom
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
under a self-established diet.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
frozen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or canned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
may not retain all the original nutrition while canned, and may have been adding preservatives to extend longer.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not a better choice either, as most of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains oil, which can caused severe disease like cancer or heart diseases if using in a long-term period.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts has emerged in accordance with the difference in the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
of human. I suppose that the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
cannot
be avoided
in the future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, it is critical for human beings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditions and customs from the past as a part of cultural heritage.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Nowadays, the traditions and customs relating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing. Why is it happening? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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