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Nowadays the level of violence is increasing in video games and some TV programs. What are the reasons behind this? What can be the the effects and solutions? v.2

Nowadays the level of violence is increasing in video games and some TV programs. What are the reasons behind this? What can be the the effects and solutions? v. 2
It is an unfortunate truth that these days violence and brutality is quite evident and purposely shown on media or through video games. There is a complete organization behind this, who controls the viewing materials. It has been widely affecting the viewers, especially our young generation. With the technological advancements, the access of all sorts of violent content and game is made so easy. Despite of several parenting controls in placed; there are enormous loop holes through which these materials can be accessed. Predominantly, the main factor to show brutality is to urge masses to replicate the same behavior in their practical lives. This the part of war strategies of many countries to exploit the generation in such a way that people become rebellious and stop acting like law-abiding citizens (mind-set shift). There are innumerable negative impacts this phenomenon can make over people. Media plays with mindsets through these channels and influence them to behave the same way in their personal lives. For instance, theft of robbary is depicted as easiest way of making money; people with less rational mindset percieves is as a best idea to copy. No wonder crime rate is increasing in every part of the world. There are numerous strategic actions that needs to be taken in this regard. Government and social responsible agencies can play a vital role in this perspective. Stringent controls should be in placed over the material shown in video games and TV shows. The censor board authorities should be empowered enough to ban violent content. To recapitulate the aforementioned argument, i opine that violent materials can be very detrimental. This does not leads to the discouragement of using latest technologies like 3D, 5D or VR, but the content needs to be strictly monitored as it may cause severe negative impacts or portrays the bad image of society.
It is an unfortunate truth that these days violence and brutality is quite evident and
purposely
shown on media or through video games. There is a complete organization behind this, who controls the viewing
materials
. It has been
widely
affecting the viewers,
especially
our young generation. With the technological advancements, the access of all sorts of violent content and game
is made
so
easy.
Despite of
several parenting controls in placed; there are enormous loop holes through which these
materials
can
be accessed
.

Predominantly
, the main factor to
show
brutality is to urge masses to replicate the same behavior in their practical
lives
. This the part of war strategies of
many
countries to exploit the generation in such a way that
people
become rebellious and
stop
acting like law-abiding citizens (mind-set shift).

There are innumerable
negative
impacts this phenomenon can
make
over
people
. Media plays with mindsets through these channels and influence them to behave the same way in their personal
lives
.
For instance
, theft of
robbary
is depicted
as easiest way of making money;
people
with less rational mindset
percieves
is as
a
best
idea
to copy. No wonder crime rate is increasing in every part of the world.

There are numerous strategic actions that needs to
be taken
in this regard.
Government
and social responsible agencies can play a vital role in this perspective. Stringent controls should be in placed over the
material
shown in video games and TV
shows
. The censor board authorities should
be empowered
enough
to ban violent content.

To recapitulate the aforementioned argument,
i
opine that violent
materials
can be
very
detrimental. This does not
leads
to the discouragement of using
latest
technologies like 3D, 5D or VR,
but
the content needs to be
strictly
monitored as it may cause severe
negative
impacts or portrays the
bad
image of society.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the level of violence is increasing in video games and some TV programs. What are the reasons behind this? What can be the the effects and solutions? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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