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Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.22

Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 22
It is in human nature to aspire to thrive and succeed in whatever situation or aspect of life. However, not everyone perceives success in the same way. There are some who believe that success indicates making tons of money. In this matter, I oppose this view for the reasons I will explore in this essay. To begin with, not every individual has the same goals he/she wants to achieve, therefore we may not allude that monetary value is the only incentive for success. If making a big profit is the case, and hypothetically, it is realized, then, yes, the person we’re talking about is successful. On the other hand, if we suggest that my dream is to visit Italy, and I were to do so, then we can deduce that I am as successful as the businessman referred. In other words, successful are the people who achieve their aspirations, and hit their intended targets, whatever they may be. Furthermore, value incites the manifesting of success, thus money cannot be the only mean of attaining it. When we’re born, we’re expected to grow and accomplish the identity of a valuable person- someone who is considerate, open-minded, respectful, and someone who creates value. Accordingly, groups that have built their valuable identity, such as non-profit organizations, cultural movements and a myriad of clubs, work to implement ideas that will contribute to the greater good of all people. On the whole, even though money may be involved in realizing this purpose, it’s not the main motive that drives for success. Finally, the development of relationships between people makes the most profound form of success, whereas a balance sheet can never entice such an achievement. For instance, the bond between parents and their children outstands any profit- relations with friends, partners, professors and/or colleagues alike. However, money doesn’t join you in such associations. In summary, earning big amounts of money makes you successful, but as noted before, it’s not the only stimulus. People who achieve their goals, create and are of value, and build connections are considered to be triumphant in the matter alike.
It is in human nature to aspire to thrive and succeed in whatever situation or aspect of life.
However
, not everyone perceives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in the same way
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
indicates making tons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In this matter, I oppose this view for the reasons I will explore in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, not every individual has the same goals he/she wants to achieve,
therefore
we may not
Did you mean "elude"?
allude
that monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
incentive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. If making a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
profit is the case, and
hypothetically
, it
is realized
, then, yes, the person we’re talking about is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
On the other hand
, if we suggest that my dream is to visit Italy, and I were to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, then we can deduce that I am as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
as the businessman referred.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
achieve their aspirations, and hit their intended targets, whatever they may be.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
incites the manifesting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mean of attaining it. When we’re born, we’re
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to grow and accomplish the identity of a valuable person- someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is considerate, open-minded, respectful, and someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
creates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
.
Accordingly
, groups that have built their valuable identity, such as non-profit organizations, cultural movements and a myriad of clubs, work to implement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that will contribute to the greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
On the whole
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may
be involved
in realizing this purpose, it’s not the main motive that drives for success.

Finally
, the development of relationships between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
makes
the most profound form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, whereas a balance sheet can never entice such an achievement.
For instance
, the bond between parents and their children
Possible spelling mistake found.
outstands
any profit- relations with friends, partners, professors and/or colleagues alike.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
you in such associations.

In summary, earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as noted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, it’s not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stimulus.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
achieve their goals, create and are of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
, and build connections
are considered
to be triumphant in the matter alike.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 22

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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