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Nowadays, the increasing amount of garbage (Waste) is a real concern. Why is this happening? What can be done to resolve this? v.1

Nowadays, the increasing amount of garbage (Waste) is a real concern. Why is this happening? What can be done to resolve this? v. 1
Literacy rates are becoming lower and lower as the years pass. It is said that illiteracy rates are very high in underprivileged nations from the conventional view. In spite of this, it has become quite evident that literacy rates are on the decline in some countries. In my opinion, it has a negative bearing on the society and will now be discussed. The technology has many negative effects in terms of education. To illustrate, having got used to writing letters in assistance of mobile phone functions, students are failing to use their writing skills. One example of those functions could be automatic correction, which is favoured by a myriad of people as, provided that there are any mistakes, they are rectified in a question of seconds. So, this is resulting in laziness among people to review whether they wrote a word correctly or not and engendering a plunge in their writing abilities. Furthermore, in many industrialised nations, breadwinner parents are rife and are the next culprit of high illiteracy rates. When both parents are occupied with their jobs, it is proven to be a negative trend as their children are left out of regulation and simply doing what they want such as playing, surfing the Internet in vain, dropping out of school or even committing crimes. Ergo, the technology and diminished responsibility of taking control of children are leading to low literacy rates. Low literacy rates have an immense impact on societies. For instance, issues such as poverty has arisen from high illiteracy rates. As mentioned above, children left out of attention and quitted school contribute to illiteracy rates. If they do not attend school, however, will leave as blue collar workers on the horizon. What is more, when people are not educated enough to get better paid jobs, it is inevitable that they will seek for easy ways of earning such as committing a crime or even being entailed in mobs. It makes it clear that such ways of earning money put the lives of society members in jeopardy due to the calamities entailed in the criminal act. So, poverty results from high illiteracy rates, which have deleterious effects on the members of the society. In conclusion, the latest technology and non-existence of children's control result in low literacy rates and bear a tremendous impact on the society. It is recommended that if illiteracy of people is thwarted when it was in the buds, then no problems will be caused in the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are becoming lower and lower as the years pass. It
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
in underprivileged nations from the conventional view.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, it has become quite evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are on the decline in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. In my opinion, it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
bearing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be discussed
.

The technology has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in terms of education. To illustrate, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to writing letters in assistance of mobile phone functions, students are failing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. One example of those functions could be automatic correction, which is
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by a myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as, provided that there are any mistakes, they
are rectified
in a question of seconds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this is resulting in laziness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to review whether they wrote a word
correctly
or not and engendering a plunge in their writing abilities.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialised' is British English.
industrialised
nations, breadwinner parents are rife and are the
next
culprit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. When both parents
are occupied
with their jobs, it
is proven
to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend as their children are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out of regulation and
simply
doing what they want such as playing, surfing the Internet in vain, dropping out of school or even committing crimes. Ergo, the technology and diminished responsibility of taking control of children are leading to low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literacy
rates.

Low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
have an immense impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
.
For instance
, issues such as poverty has arisen from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. As mentioned above, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out of attention and
Possible spelling mistake found.
quitted
school contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. If they do not attend school,
however
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
as blue collar workers on the horizon.
What is more
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better paid jobs, it is inevitable that they will seek for easy ways of earning such as committing a crime or even
being entailed
in mobs. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that such ways of earning money put the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
members in jeopardy due to the calamities entailed in the criminal act.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, poverty results from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
, which have deleterious effects on the members of the society.

In conclusion
, the latest technology and non-existence of children's control result in low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
and bear a tremendous impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. It
is recommended
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiteracy
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is thwarted
when it was in the buds, then no problems will
be caused
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Nowadays, the increasing amount of garbage (Waste) is a real concern. Why is this happening? What can be done to resolve this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
414 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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