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Nowadays sport is becoming a big business with high earnings for professional sportspeople and a lot of companies have involved in financially and in other ways Is it a positive or negative development of sport v.3

Nowadays sport is becoming a big business with high earnings for professional sportspeople and a lot of companies have involved in financially and in other ways Is it a positive or negative development of sport v. 3
Sport is currently being contained commerce by companies and a huge amount of money which is paid for sports person. While this trend can be positive to some extent, I would argue that it is more negative. On the one hand, it is believed that this inclination can be seen as an advantage. Firstly, it creates the motivation for athletes to perform at the best status. The amount of money is also used for providing state-of-the-art facilities to assist them in practicing. In addition to their fabulous salaries, sports celebrities also make a great deal of money through their endorsement of sporting goods such as trainers or even casual clothes or deodorants. Therefore, enterprises can be benefited from supporting renowned players. However, the aforementioned reasons can be seen as the opposite angle. One disadvantage is that this trend makes sport to be being ruined by a win-at-all-costs attitude, which includes cheating and breaking the rules in order to achieve victory and earn money. For example, soccer players often fall down and say that someone has pushed them, but it is not true. Another disadvantage is that betting companies are becoming prevalent and this often leads to social evils. Eventually, the result of a match will not reality because it is manipulated, so a multitude of spectators will feel despair. In conclusion, while some activities like sports merchandising or earning from sport are beneficial for sportsmen to some extent, I believe its disadvantages are greater.
Sport
is
currently
being contained
commerce by
companies
and a huge amount of
money
which
is paid
for
sports
person. While this trend can be
positive
to
some
extent, I would argue that it is more
negative
.

On the one hand, it
is believed
that this inclination can be
seen
as an advantage.
Firstly
, it creates the motivation for athletes to perform at the best status. The amount of
money
is
also
used
for providing state-of-the-art facilities to assist them in practicing.
In addition
to their fabulous salaries,
sports
celebrities
also
make
a great deal of
money
through their endorsement of sporting
goods
such as trainers or even casual clothes or deodorants.
Therefore
, enterprises can
be benefited
from supporting renowned players.

However
, the aforementioned reasons can be
seen
as the opposite angle. One disadvantage is that this trend
makes
sport
to be
being ruined
by a win-at-all-costs attitude, which includes cheating and breaking the
rules
in order to achieve victory and earn
money
.
For example
, soccer players
often
fall down and say that someone has pushed them,
but
it is not true. Another disadvantage is that betting
companies
are becoming prevalent and this
often
leads to social evils.
Eventually
, the result of a match will not reality
because
it
is manipulated
,
so
a multitude of spectators will feel despair.

In conclusion
, while
some
activities like
sports
merchandising or earning from
sport
are beneficial for sportsmen to
some
extent, I believe its disadvantages are greater.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays sport is becoming a big business with high earnings for professional sportspeople and a lot of companies have involved in financially and in other ways Is it a positive or negative development of sport v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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