Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

New parents should attend parenting courses to ensure the growth of their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

New parents should attend parenting courses to ensure the growth of their children. v. 2
It is sometimes argued that young parents should take part in child-care courses in order to provide a decent education for their offspring. While I agree with these programs, I do not believe that all parents should be required to join these activities. To embark on, to ensure their children will be well-cherished, parents are encouraged to come to these classes, which offer a great deal of precious knowledge. It is exemplified by a higher proportion of children who have good mental and physical health conditions that parents have quality time with them after making sense of their offspring when attending to these courses. Another reason is parents are required to have parenting skills such as food usage for children. In fact, numerous children are suffered from food-related diseases due to clueless about fresh food. Therefore, young couples are encouraged to attend these courses for a rich variety of benefits for their youngsters. However, these aforementioned reasons can be seen as the opposite angle. Every child has their own needs or demerits and with the advancement of technology, parents can get access to a fair amount of information instead of splashing out on child-care courses. Moreover, people can ask someone who has much experience in raising children like grandparents since they have lived for many years and have brought up their own offspring. In conclusion, while I agree with this assertion that parenting classes are beneficial for the development of a child, I do not believe wholeheartedly that educational opportunities for young parents in young households play an important role.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in child-care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in order to provide a decent education for their offspring. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with these programs, I do not believe that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
be required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
these activities.

To embark on, to ensure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be well-cherished,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to these classes, which offer a great deal of precious knowledge. It
is exemplified
by a higher proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mental and physical health conditions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have quality time with them after making sense of their offspring when attending to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. Another reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are required
to have parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as food usage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In fact, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are suffered
from food-related diseases due to clueless about fresh food.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
couples
are encouraged
to attend these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for a rich variety of benefits for their youngsters.

However
, these aforementioned reasons can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the opposite angle. Every child has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs or demerits and with the advancement of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount of information
instead
of splashing out on child-care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can ask someone who has much experience in raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like grandparents since they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years and have brought up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
offspring.

In conclusion
, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this assertion that parenting classes are beneficial for the development of a child, I do not believe
wholeheartedly
that educational opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
households play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay New parents should attend parenting courses to ensure the growth of their children. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts