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Nowadays, some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the reasons for this? Is it negative or positive? v.1

Nowadays, some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the reasons for this? Is it negative or positive? v. 1
Some children are being pressurized nowadays by their parents to achieve heights in a particular discipline. This phenomenon is due to the belief of secure future and an urge to fulfil their aspirations. This is undeniably a deleterious approach. To embark on, in the fast paced and competitive world, it is quite challenging to make a name for oneself. Therefore, father and mother believe in nurturing an offspring in a predetermined direction. To illustrate, doctors and police are said to be the most stable professions as there can never be a dearth of such occupations. Besides, a few progenitors want to pursue their dream through their young blood because they could not reach where they aspired to. Many instances come to the fore where children are forced to become a certain personality, such as a sports person, an engineer, or a lawyer. Thus, parents put undue burden on children to do good in a certain area. However, no matter how good the intension parents hold, it does not render fruitful outcomes. Young mind is sensitive and attract negativity easily. Unwanted stress impedes the development of the child. To exemplify, when birth givers incessantly force to follow a set path without asking for their desires, it results in hindered self-confidence and a timid character. Due to this, an individual would not be in a state of mind to foster the guided path and ultimately ruin his individuality. A recent study puts a stamp on the detrimental effects and revealed that people who are triggered to achieve success in a specific genre without their say faces the brunt of depression, which could lead to suicidal tendencies. To recapitulate, while parents prompt their offspring to shine in a particular discipline for their secured career, it has grave ramifications as it could harm a child’s persona in the future.
Some
children are
being pressurized
nowadays by their
parents
to achieve heights in a particular discipline. This phenomenon is due to the belief of secure future and an urge to fulfil their aspirations. This is
undeniably
a deleterious approach.

To embark on, in the
fast
paced and competitive world, it is quite challenging to
make
a name for oneself.
Therefore
, father and mother believe in nurturing an offspring in a predetermined direction. To illustrate, doctors and police
are said
to be the most stable professions as there can never be a dearth of such occupations.
Besides
, a few progenitors want to pursue their dream through their young blood
because
they could not reach where they aspired to.
Many
instances
come
to the fore where children
are forced
to become a certain personality, such as a sports person, an engineer, or a lawyer.
Thus
,
parents
put undue burden on children to do
good
in a certain area.

However
, no matter how
good
the
intension
parents
hold, it does not render fruitful outcomes. Young mind is sensitive and attract negativity
easily
. Unwanted
stress
impedes the development of the child. To exemplify, when birth givers
incessantly
force to follow a set path without asking for their desires, it results in hindered self-confidence and a timid character. Due to this, an individual would not be in a state of mind to foster the guided path and
ultimately
ruin his individuality. A recent study puts a stamp on the detrimental effects and revealed that
people
who
are triggered
to achieve success in a specific genre without their say faces the brunt of depression, which could lead to suicidal tendencies.

To recapitulate, while
parents
prompt their offspring to shine in a particular discipline for their secured career, it has grave ramifications as it could harm a child’s persona in the future.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the reasons for this? Is it negative or positive? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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