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Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v.11

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 11
In this increasingly competitive society, high-level qualifications are considered to be more expected than life experience or personal qualities by some employers when they seek new candidates these days. There are many reasons for this, and in my opinion, this is a positive development. The main reason for this tendency is that academic degrees are considered a tool to measure the level of knowledge and capability of the person. To be more specific, to achieve a good degree in most universities, students need to pass many examinations focusing on testing their knowledge and take part in practical training courses. These factors ensure that students have gained sufficient in-depth knowledge in the field that the company is looking for. That is why recruiters place higher value on employers holding formal academic qualifications. Whereas, in terms of people having life experience or personal qualities, these people are likely to lack a suitable amount of academic knowledge in their field, and therefore, they need to be trained for a long time by employers. This results in the reluctance of employers to hire them for vacant positions. On the other hand, I suppose that this situation has two obvious benefits. Firstly, this trend would definitely motivate and encourage more students to pursue higher education. By attending universities, they can broaden their horizons and gain insights into their chosen fields that would help enhance their career prospects. Secondly, more people entering universities could make a great contribution to the society. To be more specific, the nation’s workforce will be significantly beneficial because of a large number of well-informed and educated citizens, which will have positive influences on the national economy. In conclusion, employers prefer people with better qualifications because qualifications are to prove that their holders are sufficiently trained at the university. I think that there are many positives for both students and society when employers place emphasis on formal academic qualifications instead of life experience or personal qualities.
In this
increasingly
competitive society, high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
are considered
to be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
than life experience or personal qualities by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
when they seek new candidates these days. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this, and in my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

The main reason for this tendency is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
degrees
are considered
a tool to measure the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and capability of the person. To be more specific, to achieve a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
degree in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to pass
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examinations focusing on testing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in practical training courses. These factors ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have gained sufficient in-depth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in the field that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is looking for.
That is
why recruiters place higher value on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
holding formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
. Whereas, in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having life experience or personal qualities, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to lack a suitable amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in their field, and
therefore
, they need to
be trained
for a long time by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
. This results in the reluctance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
to hire them for vacant positions.

On the other hand
, I suppose that this situation has two obvious benefits.
Firstly
, this trend would definitely motivate and encourage more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to pursue higher education. By attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, they can broaden their horizons and gain insights into their chosen fields that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
enhance their career prospects.
Secondly
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great contribution to the society. To be more specific, the nation’s workforce will be
significantly
beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
well-informed and educated citizens, which will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influences on the national economy.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
are to prove that their holders are
sufficiently
trained at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
positives for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and society when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
place emphasis on formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
instead
of life experience or personal qualities.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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