Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Because of the rising cost of housing, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30s. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this trend? v.2

Because of the rising cost of housing, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30s. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this trend? v. 2
Housing is one of the essential requirements to cruise through the life. Due to the burgeoning rates of it, many youngsters are compelled to stay with their parents. According to me, it is much more advantageous to live with your parents as both of them can get emotional, physical and monetary support from each other. This essay will discuss, both the pros and cons and according to me, former outweighs the latter one. A father and mother only expect respect and affection from their children. Joint family gives the way to achieve this. There would be a mutual emotional share between both the generations. In addition to that, young people may require more finances, which could be backed by their parents. Apart from that, kids can help their parents in daily walks and household chores as the older ones may suffer from physical problems due to the age factor. Many countries follow the tradition of staying together for a lifelong period, for example, India. Hence, it is beneficial for all to stay together. Some parents like their children to stay independently to learn to live on their own as well as to avoid any clashes which may occur. They would have the understanding and managing their day to day problems without the help of any outsider. For instance, problems pertaining to the household. However, aforementioned reason would make it challenging for the person to stay alone and hence, it would contribute towards the negative trend. To conclude, there are both advantages and disadvantages to the boosting housing costs. However, given the benefits of living together such as moral and financial assistance which could be shared, it seems to me that disadvantages like not able to learn independent living can be ignored.
Housing is one of the essential requirements to cruise through the life. Due to the burgeoning rates of it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters
are compelled
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, it is much more advantageous to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as both of them can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
emotional, physical and monetary support from each other. This essay will discuss, both the pros and cons and according to me, former outweighs the latter one.

A father and mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
respect and affection from their children. Joint family gives the way to achieve this. There would be a mutual emotional share between both the generations.
In addition
to that, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may require more finances, which could
be backed
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Apart from that, kids can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in daily walks and household chores as the older ones may suffer from physical problems due to the age factor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries follow the tradition of staying together for a lifelong period,
for example
, India.
Hence
, it is beneficial for all to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
together.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
like their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
independently
to learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
as well
as to avoid any clashes which may occur. They would have the understanding and managing their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
problems without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of any outsider.
For instance
, problems pertaining to the household.
However
, aforementioned reason would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it challenging for the person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
alone and
hence
, it would contribute towards the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend.

To conclude
, there are both advantages and disadvantages to the boosting housing costs.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the benefits of living together such as moral and financial assistance which could
be shared
, it seems to me that disadvantages like not able to learn independent living can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Because of the rising cost of housing, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30s. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this trend? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts