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Nowadays shops have extended opening hours almost every day of the week in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development for shoppers and local community? v.3

Nowadays shops have extended opening hours almost every day of the week in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development for shoppers and local community? v. 3
< span style=" font-size: 19. 36px; " > These days in many part of the world the shops has been opened for longer hours, almost all around the week. Although it may have few adverse effects on the personnel life of the owner, but I assert that overall it will be beneficial for both owner and society. To begin with, considering the advantages of long opening hours for the shop owners. The predominant benefit is increase in the profitability. If opening hours of any outlet will increase it will definitely add more income for the owner, because sale will boost. Due to increased working hours in almost all the arenas and profile of jobs, people usually get free in late hours, so they can easily purchase the things according to their convenient timings as they will find the shop open. apart from this, shoppers will also be compete with their rivals. In modern time there is perfect competition for all the products and commodities, so seller who will meet the demand in better way can only survive in this competitive world. Extended opening hours will definitely help to cater the customer need more efficiently. Moving further, this increase in opening timings ha significant importance for the community growth. As seller profit will grow they will pay more tax to the government, which can be used by the local authorities for various community development activities. Government plan the budget for every financial year and allot expenditure to different areas according to the income received from different sources and tax is one of the major source of income. Another positive area is increase in the employee opportunities, more people will be recruited by the shoppers if they want to run for longer time. For example, employee are working in shifts, so many will be able to find the job and living standard will grow. In conclusion, opening hours of the retail outlets are increasing in current years. Unequivocally it is helping the community to develop in many ways and leading the economy to grow. Owner are also earning more and able to overall the competition. < /span> < br>
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; These days in
Possible agreement error. The noun part seems to be countable; consider using: "many parts".
many part
of the world the shops has
been opened
for longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, almost all around the week. Although it may have few adverse effects on the personnel life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I assert that
overall
it will be beneficial for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
and society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, considering the advantages of long opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for the shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
. The predominant benefit is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the profitability. If opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of any outlet will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
it will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more income for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
sale will boost. Due to increased working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in almost all the arenas and profile of jobs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free in late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the things according to their convenient timings as they will find the shop open.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
apart
from this, shoppers will
also
be
Consider using a past participle here: "competed".
compete
with their rivals. In modern time there is perfect competition for all the products and commodities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
seller who will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand in better way can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
survive in this competitive world. Extended opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to cater the customer need more
efficiently
.

Moving
further
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in opening timings ha significant importance for the community growth. As seller profit will grow they will pay more tax to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the local authorities for various community development activities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "plans".
plan
the budget for every financial year and allot expenditure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas according to the income received from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources and tax is one of the major source of income. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
area is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the employee opportunities, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be recruited
by the shoppers if they want to run for longer time.
For example
, employee are working in shifts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
will be able to find the job and living standard will grow.

In conclusion
, opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of the retail outlets are increasing in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
years.
Unequivocally
it is helping the community to develop in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways and leading the economy to grow.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Owner
are
also
earning more and able to
overall
the competition.
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; /
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;
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&lt
;
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br&gt
;
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays shops have extended opening hours almost every day of the week in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development for shoppers and local community? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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