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Nowadays shops have extended opening hours almost every day of the week in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development for shoppers and local community? v.1

Nowadays shops have extended opening hours almost every day of the week in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development for shoppers and local community? v. 1
These days in many parts of the world, shops have extended their working hours, for the whole week. Although, there might be a small number of adverse effects on shop owners, I assert that it is very beneficial for both the consumers and the society as a whole. This essay explains why it is a positive development and states reasons for the same. Firstly, longer opening hours are convenient for the customers because they can visit the store at any time feasible to them. Due to increasing working hours in almost every sector, people usually get free at late and rather inconvenient hours. For that reason, having a local centre to buy all the necessities could be advantageous. For instance, shopping centres in Beijing are open for customers 24/7, therefore allowing them to buy goods, even at late nights as most of the people get free at this time. As customer satisfaction is an essential factor in a majority of the markets, extending opening hours would definitely cater the customer needs predominantly. Furthermore, with the increase in opening hours, shops have a significant importance in the growth of local communities. As the seller’s profit margin rises, the government receives more revenue in terms of taxes. Consequently, development in communities like repairing the roads or building facilities for children can be done. In addition to this, many employment opportunities can be provided as the stores extend their operating hours. This majorly benefit students, as they can work part-time after their classes. Overall, this essay explains why businesses extending their working hours are a positive development. Although, customer convenience is the primary goal for these stores, their role in community development and employment opportunities is very effective.
These days in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world, shops have extended their working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, for the whole week. Although, there might be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of adverse effects on shop owners, I assert that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for both the consumers and the society as a whole. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and states reasons for the same.

Firstly
, longer opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are convenient for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can visit the store at any time feasible to them. Due to increasing working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in almost every sector,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free at late and
rather
inconvenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. For that reason, having a local
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all the necessities could be advantageous.
For instance
, shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
in Beijing are open for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
24/7,
therefore
allowing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, even at late nights as most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free at this time. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
satisfaction is an essential factor in a majority of the markets, extending opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
would definitely cater the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
needs
predominantly
.

Furthermore
, with the increase in opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, shops have a significant importance in the growth of local communities. As the seller’s profit margin rises, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
receives more revenue in terms of taxes.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in communities like repairing the roads or building facilities for children can
be done
.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employment opportunities can
be provided
as the stores extend their operating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. This
majorly
benefit students, as they can work part-time after their classes.

Overall
, this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why businesses extending their working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
convenience is the primary goal for these stores, their role in community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and employment opportunities is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Nowadays shops have extended opening hours almost every day of the week in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development for shoppers and local community? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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