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Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v.4

Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v. 4
People around the world have different beliefs that children will get a better life in a city, whilst others tend to believe that life in the countryside is more beneficial. Both places have their own positive and negative outcomes. There are several benefits of upbringing the children in the city. To compete with the current competitive world, it is highly essential to provide the best education in order to prepare the youngsters for their future. Which means this will lead to a higher rate of literacy. Secondly, staying in a city will open the doors of job opportunities as most of the businesses and industries are spread all over the city which will result in wider options for the individual to choose their preferred career field. Consequently, nurturing one' s child in cities can have a negative impact, such as the pollution in cities caused by gas emissions from the vehicles. In addition, this will affect one' s health and reduce the life expectancy. People who spend their lives in the countryside do not face much health issues such as stress. The countryside is slow as compared to the life in a city, which results in becoming a healthy person. Moreover, children are close to nature and consume organic food unlike in the cities. Secondly, people often have their own source of income to spend their life. But, there are a few drawbacks as well. For example, a sedentary lifestyle and poor education system along with lower job opportunities. In conclusion, it depends on an individual as what are his priorities in life, if they can' t afford to live in a city or dislike the fast-paced life they can often choose to spend their lives in the countryside.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
around the world have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs that children will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in a city, whilst others tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is more beneficial. Both places have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes.

There are several benefits of upbringing the children in the city. To compete with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
competitive world, it is
highly
essential to provide the best education in order to prepare the youngsters for their future.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
means this will lead to a higher rate of literacy.
Secondly
, staying in a city will open the doors of job opportunities as most of the businesses and industries
are spread
all over the city which will result in wider options for the individual to choose their preferred career field.
Consequently
, nurturing
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s child in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact, such as the pollution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
caused by gas emissions from the vehicles.
In addition
, this will affect
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who spend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
do not face much health issues such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is slow as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in a city, which results in becoming a healthy person.
Moreover
, children are close to nature and consume organic food unlike in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
source of income to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, there are a few drawbacks
as well
.
For example
, a sedentary lifestyle and poor education system along with lower job opportunities.

In conclusion
, it depends on an individual as what are his priorities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, if they
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a city or dislike the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
they can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
choose to spend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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