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Nowadays people use different machines and devices to do housework. Do you see it continuing as a trend? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.2

Nowadays people use different machines and devices to do housework. Do you see it continuing as a trend? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 2
Today different kinds of electronics are used to perform home duties, such as cleaning or cooking. Some individuals assume it is beneficial, however, others do not agree. In this essay, I will explore both views and offer my own opinion. On the one hand, the usage of technology saves people’s time, hence allowing them to perform other duties, such as spending time with families or doing sports. Statistics says that a great proportion of families that use these types of appliances are content with the purchase since they have more time for other tasks. Moreover, devices are simple and convenient to exploit. Some electronics can be initiated by pressing a few buttons. For example, a washing machine can be launched by selecting the needed mode and pressing the start button and can be launched in a minute. At the same time, electronic helpers are rather expensive, therefore it is not worth buying them. Instead, people can clean their houses by themselves and economize. To illustrate, low-income families do not have enough funds to spend on exorbitant machines to do the housework, thus, they do the chores. Furthermore, some individuals can get lazy because of the daily use of appliances. Rather than exercising during cleaning, they prefer to spend their time in front of a computer or TV while the vacuüm cleaner robot is operating for them. In conclusion, I suppose that using electronics to perform housework will remain to be a tendency because many aspects of life are being robotized today, making people’s lives easier, so they have spare time for hobbies or pastime. Although technologies are costly and individuals become less physically active because of them, I believe that they are irreplaceable for households, as they save time and are handy to use.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of electronics are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to perform home duties, such as cleaning or cooking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals assume it is beneficial,
however
, others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In this essay, I will explore both views and offer my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

On the one hand, the usage of technology saves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
hence
allowing them to perform other duties, such as spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with families or doing sports. Statistics says that a great proportion of families that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these types of appliances are content with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
since they have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for other tasks.
Moreover
, devices are simple and convenient to exploit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
electronics can
be initiated
by pressing a few buttons.
For example
, a washing machine can
be launched
by selecting the needed mode and pressing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
button and can
be launched
in a minute.

At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
helpers are
rather
expensive,
therefore
it is not worth buying them.
Instead
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can clean their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
by themselves and economize. To illustrate, low-income families do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds to spend on exorbitant machines to do the housework,
thus
, they do the chores.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lazy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of appliances.
Rather
than exercising during cleaning, they prefer to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of a computer or TV while the
Possible spelling mistake found.
vacuüm
cleaner robot is operating for them.

In conclusion
, I suppose that using electronics to perform housework will remain to be a tendency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of life are
being robotized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for hobbies or pastime. Although technologies are costly and individuals become less
physically
active
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of them, I believe that they are irreplaceable for households, as they save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and are handy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people use different machines and devices to do housework. Do you see it continuing as a trend? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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