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Nowadays people show more anti-social behaviour and lack of respect to others. What are the causes? How could we improve the situation? v.1

Nowadays people show more anti-social behaviour and lack of respect to others. What are the causes? How could we improve the situation? v. 1
Nowadays there is an alarming trend of alcohol addiction across several countries. This addiction aggravates further, and results in adverse impacts such as committing crimes ranging from delinquents to murders. This essay will discuss various steps that can be taken to mitigate this crisis. To begin with, the easy availability of alcohol is the primary reason for a substantial increase in the amount of alcohol consumption. In other words, the governments in several countries have given various subsidies to toady manufacturers for making various varieties at an affordable price. This induces people to taste a swig especially in an occasional party and from then on, they get entangled to its taste. Thereby, they tend to lose all of their hard earned money and abandoning their families in a precarious situation. Furthermore, the alcohol tends to lessen the nerve impulses of a human-brain, making one to commit illegitimate actions which he would never dreamt. For example, beating his kids, indulging in delinquency as well as murdering someone. Psychiatrists strongly believe that, there is a disturbing trend between a burgeoning crime rate and alcohol consumption. There is nothing in this world that cannot be changed. A famous university once conducted a survey on alcohol addicts to discern the reasons behind their woeful behaviour. Most of the subjects said that, they suffered from depression, hopelessness, helplessness and loneliness because of which they turned towards alcohol. To overcome this challenge, the governments and civil societies have mooted a solution of opening drug rehabilitation centres which help people to abandon their addiction altogether. Although this seems to be a Herculean task for the drug addicts, nothing is unrealisable if the determination remains solid. Subsequently, the health centric warnings should be pasted on the alcohol bottles, which would resist people from the habit of drinking. It is safe to conclude that, the government should not always think of replenishing its treasury just by easing the sale of toady, as it results in uncontrollable chaos in the society. Therefore, one should be cautious enough to not get entrapped. Alcohol is fun, but one should draw a red line between addiction and occasional drinking.
Nowadays there is an alarming trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
addiction across several countries. This addiction aggravates
further
, and results in adverse impacts such as committing crimes ranging from delinquents to murders. This essay will discuss various steps that can
be taken
to mitigate this crisis.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the easy availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
is the primary reason for a substantial increase in the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
consumption.
In other words
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in several countries have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
various subsidies to toady manufacturers for making various varieties at an affordable price. This induces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to taste a swig
especially
in an occasional party and from then on, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
entangled to its taste. Thereby, they tend to lose all of their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
money and abandoning their families in a precarious situation.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
tends to lessen the nerve impulses of a human-brain, making one to commit illegitimate actions which he would never dreamt.
For example
, beating his kids, indulging in delinquency
as well
as murdering someone. Psychiatrists
strongly
believe that, there is a disturbing trend between a burgeoning crime rate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
consumption.

There is nothing in this world that cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
university once conducted a survey on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
addicts to discern the reasons behind their woeful
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Most of the subjects said that, they suffered from depression, hopelessness, helplessness and loneliness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they turned towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
. To overcome this challenge, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and civil societies have mooted a solution of opening drug rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to abandon their addiction altogether. Although this seems to be a Herculean task for the drug addicts, nothing is
Possible spelling mistake. 'unrealisable' is British English.
unrealisable
if the determination remains solid.
Subsequently
, the health centric warnings should
be pasted
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
bottles, which would resist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the habit of drinking.

It is safe
to conclude
that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of replenishing its treasury
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by easing the sale of toady, as it results in uncontrollable chaos in the society.
Therefore
, one should be cautious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
entrapped.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Alcohol
is fun,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one should draw a red line between addiction and occasional drinking.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people show more anti-social behaviour and lack of respect to others. What are the causes? How could we improve the situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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