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Nowadays people get married and have kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society? v.2

Nowadays people get married and have kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger. that this trend will benefit society? v. 2
Nowadays, people’s lifestyles have been changed dramatically as a requirement of their hectic lifestyle. Late marriage has sparked a heated debate among people of societies. Although contested by many that this matter is highly beneficial, such issue is regarded thoroughly constructive and positive in terms of economy and psychology by a substantial number of individuals. I am inclined that marriage in older age can be a plus, and I will analyze that throughout this essay. From an economic standpoint, late marriage can provide the society with a boom in the economy. People in the age less than thirty are energetic and can work for a longer time which leads to a more productive society. As an example, when I was a university student, I performed an academic experiment which discovered single young people are more efficient and productive. Thus a late marriage could be considered a positive phenomenon in a society. Within the realm of social psychology, a healthy society is the one with healthy children not only in the term of body health but also in terms of psychological health. Children raised under the stable economic situation are psychologically healthier than unprivileged ones. Parents who married over thirty have a more stable economic situation since they usually used their youth to develop their life financially. As a result, they can offer a safer and less stressful life to their children which are essential to raising a child psychologically healthy. This demonstrates the importance of late marriage. In conclusion, marriage over thirty could provide the society with some positive effects such as an economic boost of the society and promotion of psychological health in society.
Nowadays,
people’s
lifestyles have been
changed
dramatically
as a requirement of their hectic lifestyle.
Late
marriage
has sparked a heated debate among
people
of
societies
. Although contested by
many
that this matter is
highly
beneficial, such issue
is regarded
thoroughly
constructive and
positive
in terms of economy and psychology by a substantial number of individuals. I
am inclined
that
marriage
in older age can be a plus, and I will analyze that throughout this essay.

From an
economic
standpoint,
late
marriage
can provide the
society
with a boom in the economy.
People
in the age less than thirty are energetic and can work for a longer time which leads to a more productive
society
. As an example, when I was a university student, I performed an academic experiment which discovered single young
people
are more efficient and productive.
Thus
a
late
marriage
could
be considered
a
positive
phenomenon in a society.

Within the realm of social psychology, a healthy
society
is the one with healthy children not
only
in the term of body health
but
also
in terms of psychological health. Children raised under the stable
economic
situation are
psychologically
healthier than unprivileged ones. Parents who married over thirty have a more stable
economic
situation since they
usually
used
their youth to develop their life
financially
.
As a result
, they can offer a safer and less stressful life to their children which are essential to raising a child
psychologically
healthy. This demonstrates the importance of
late
marriage.

In conclusion
,
marriage
over thirty could provide the
society
with
some
positive
effects such as an
economic
boost of the
society
and promotion of psychological health in
society
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people get married and have kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger. that this trend will benefit society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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