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THE CONSUMPTION OF THE WORLD’S RESOURCES (OIL AND WATER ETC) IS INCREASING AT A DANGEROUS RATE. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND SOLUTION? v.1

THE CONSUMPTION OF THE WORLD’S RESOURCES (OIL AND WATER ETC) IS INCREASING AT A DANGEROUS RATE. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND SOLUTION? v. 1
The world we are living in has a plethora of natural resources. However, with the increase in development the usage of these resources has grown exponentially. In this essay, I would be discussing the causes and possible solutions for this growth. Increase in world’s population is leading towards the scarcity of natural resources including water and oil. This means that the number of people has increased drastically as compared to the past, consequently the usage has grown. For example, the population of Pakistan has increased from the past and the available reserves are the same. Eventually the consumption has increased. The possible solution is to preserve or increase the available reserves scientifically. Controlling population is not considered to be an easy task so we should try our level best to preserve and limit the use of these resources. Another possible cause is the climatic changes the world is facing. Global warming is creating adverse effects on the world’s natural reserves. The overall temperature of the world is increasing annually leading to extreme weathers. For instance, people tend to use more water to counter extreme summers. Furthermore, human developmental projects are disturbing the natural lifecycle. As a result, this leads to scarcity of reserves. The possible solution is to avoid disturbing the natural lifecycle and while developing infrastructures we should take notice of the environmental changes. To conclude, world’s resources are being utilized at a higher rate and we should take measures to prevent it. There should be a balance between the usage and the availability of the natural reserves.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
we are living in has a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
However
, with the increase in development the usage of these resources has grown
exponentially
. In this essay, I would be discussing the causes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
solutions for this growth.

Increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
population is leading towards the scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources including water and oil. This means that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has increased
drastically
as compared to the past,
consequently
the usage has grown.
For example
, the population of Pakistan has increased from the past and the available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reserves
are the same.
Eventually
the consumption has increased. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
solution is to preserve or increase the available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reserves
scientifically
. Controlling population is not considered to be an easy task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should try our level best to preserve and limit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these resources.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
cause is the climatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is facing. Global warming is creating adverse effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reserves
. The
overall
temperature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is increasing
annually
leading to extreme weathers.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more water to counter extreme summers.
Furthermore
, human developmental projects are disturbing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
lifecycle.
As a result
, this leads to scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reserves
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
solution is to avoid disturbing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
lifecycle and while developing infrastructures we should take notice of the environmental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
resources are
being utilized
at a higher
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rate and
we should take measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it. There should be a balance between the usage and the availability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reserves
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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Czech Proverb

IELTS essay THE CONSUMPTION OF THE WORLD’S RESOURCES (OIL AND WATER ETC) IS INCREASING AT A DANGEROUS RATE. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND SOLUTION? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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