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Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their home because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages? v. 2
These days, people are giving more time to their offices instead of their residence. The essay will first suggest that extensive earning is the primary benefit, and less-communication between family members is the main drawback of this approach. The main advantage to investing time in organizations beneficially enhances someone’s lifestyle. By doing this they can earn an excessive amount of income which is very crucial for a better living. This helps people to lead a luxurious life, and this is a major approach for every individual. For example, the firms pay their employees a large amount of income when they work extra time in their office. Hence, additional time has many positive effects on people’s well-being. Despite this benefit, spend a long day working also creates difficulties for society. If people consecutively keep busy in their workforce, they can get less time for themselves to take rest. It results in the deterioration in their health which affects their work performance. A survey conducted in the USA shows 80% decline in the health of that person who works additional hours. Therefore, it also contains adverse effects on people. In conclusion, although workers can achieve more benefits by giving an extra amount of time, they can face certain health factors, and that is not a good insight for any society.
These days,
people
are giving more
time
to their offices
instead
of their residence. The essay will
first
suggest that extensive earning is the primary benefit, and less-communication between family members is the main drawback of this approach.

The main advantage to investing
time
in organizations
beneficially
enhances someone’s lifestyle. By doing this they can earn an excessive amount of income which is
very
crucial for a better living. This
helps
people
to lead a luxurious life, and this is a major approach for every individual.
For example
, the firms pay their employees a large amount of income when they work extra
time
in their office.
Hence
, additional
time
has
many
positive
effects on
people’s
well-being.

Despite this benefit, spend a long day working
also
creates difficulties for society. If
people
consecutively
keep
busy in their workforce, they can
get
less
time
for themselves to take rest. It results in the deterioration in their health which affects their work performance. A survey conducted in the USA
shows
80% decline in the health of that person who works additional hours.
Therefore
, it
also
contains adverse effects on
people
.

In conclusion
, although workers can achieve more benefits by giving an extra amount of
time
, they can face certain health factors, and
that is
not a
good
insight for any society.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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