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Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their home because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages? v.1

Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their home because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages? v. 1
Employment is essential for every human being to survive in this world. These days, individuals are incurring more time away from their residence as they spend longer in their workplace. Although they are few benefits of spending time in office. The drawback for being away from home or lack of healthy meals and disconnection from families. On the one hand, There are some benefits of being away from home, Firstly, People can give more time in their office which will benefit them in their career. Staying at home does not provide vital skill to the individual. When they spend time in office they can learn and apply which shall be beneficial in shaping their career. Secondly, spending sufficient time in office will make them independent, people at home are under the guidance of family and in this atmosphere they do not offer an opportunity to present their idea as they are young in front of their elder. On the other hand, Apart from advantages, there are fewer drawback. The major disadvantage of being away from home will directly affect their health. People when they are at home they offer healthy, home cocked food and when they are away, he need to consume easy food like Hamburgers, Pizzas and sugary food. The drawback of being away from the family will have an impact in their bonding. People when they are home spend lots of time together and understand each other, when they are away from home gradually difference increases and quarrel happen frequently which has a negative impact on their relationship. This home problem will finally have psychological impact which shall ultimately affect their productivity at work place. In conclusion, Career growth and becoming self-made is the advantage of giving more time in office and they are some disadvantages. Thus, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Employment is essential for every human being to survive in this world. These days, individuals are incurring more
time
away
from their residence as they spend longer in their workplace.
Although
they are few benefits of spending
time
in
office
. The drawback for being
away
from home or lack of healthy meals and disconnection from families.

On the one hand, There are
some
benefits of being
away
from home,
Firstly
,
People
can give more
time
in their
office
which will benefit them in their career. Staying at home does not provide vital
skill
to the individual. When they spend
time
in
office
they can learn and apply which shall be beneficial in shaping their career.
Secondly
, spending sufficient
time
in
office
will
make
them independent,
people
at home are under the guidance of family and in this atmosphere they do not offer an opportunity to present their
idea
as they are young in front of their elder.

On the other hand
, Apart from advantages, there are fewer drawback. The major disadvantage of being
away
from home will
directly
affect their health.
People
when they are at home they offer healthy, home cocked food and when they are
away
, he need to consume easy food like Hamburgers, Pizzas and sugary food. The drawback of being
away
from the family will have an impact in their bonding.
People
when they are home
spend
lots of
time
together and understand each other, when they are
away
from home
gradually
difference increases and quarrel happen
frequently
which has a
negative
impact on their relationship. This home problem will
finally
have psychological impact which shall
ultimately
affect their productivity at work place.

In conclusion
, Career growth and becoming self-made is the advantage of giving more
time
in
office and
they are
some
disadvantages.
Thus
, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their home because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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