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Nowadays people are moving to other countries for work Some people say it is difficult for children lives others think it is better for them Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Nowadays people are moving to other countries for work Some people say it is difficult for children lives others think it is better for them 1
No doubt, due to the advancement of the era, the natural disasters are increasing day by day. However, these people consider that the developed countries should help the underdeveloped countries in order to come out of the natural disaster. This essay will discuss why it is entirely necessary for these rich nations to look out for the poor nations for help. To begin with, there are numerous reasons in the favour that the wealthy states should have to assist the unhealthy states. It is the responsibility of the humans to help the others during the difficult situations. For example, recently Australia faced the forest fire on a large proportion due to the extreme hotness and in their difficulty, all the developed countries came together with the help, which shows the best evidence of helping hand. It also improves the relations among the countries. Humanity is the first responsibility and duty for everyone, so if the wealthy nations will concern about poorer nations, then this will show their kindness as well as their duties. Moreover, by doing this will not affect the economy of the rich countries. Since these countries are well developed in all the aspects, it will cost them absolutely nothing. A study showed that when a rich country comes in the front to help the other states, then other wealthy nations are also coming to support that nation. So, overall, it is good for a wealthy country to help the less wealthy country in the natural disasters. Because, they will not affect their economy and it will make a sense of help. To conclude, it is a very important for developed states to pay attention towards undeveloped countries during their difficult situations. In my opinion, it is an absolutely true and I am strongly agree with the statement.
No doubt, due to the advancement of the era, the natural disasters are increasing day by day.
However
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of the natural disaster. This essay will discuss why it is
entirely
necessary for these rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to look out for the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous reasons in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
assist the unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
. It is the responsibility of the humans to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the others during the difficult situations.
For example
, recently Australia faced the forest fire on a large proportion due to the extreme hotness and in their difficulty, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
came together with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the best evidence of helping hand. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the relations among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Humanity is the
first
responsibility and duty for everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will concern about poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, then this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their kindness
as well
as their duties.

Moreover
, by doing this will not affect the economy of the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
in all the aspects, it will cost them
absolutely
nothing. A study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that when a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in the front to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
, then other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
also
coming to support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the natural disasters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, they will not affect their economy and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a sense of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

To conclude
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
to pay attention towards undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
during their difficult situations. In my opinion, it is an
absolutely
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
true and
I am
strongly
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with the statement.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people are moving to other countries for work Some people say it is difficult for children lives others think it is better for them 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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