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Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it. v.9

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it. v. 9
It is true that the shopping online has outweighed the traditional way of purchasing things in today's complex society. Although, it keeps trending, it has the adverse effects both on the population and the economy of the countries. To begin with, his phenomena directly affects the members of society. That is to say, the passive lifestyle leads to a concerning issue as the obesity. As people prefer the online way of shopping due to its convenience, they are more likely to be lenient about their health. A good example of it might be seen in the rising numbers of obesity in recent years. Thus, before the possibility of buying things on the internet, it was an excuse of going out or walking around the shops. Another danger might be for the bank accounts. When the customers register in sites with personal card numbers, in this respect, there could be peril of being hacked in terms of the low security acts. This trend affects the economy of countries as well. Firstly, the consumers have been obliged to decrease the prices of things in sales as they face the risk of losing the customers. More specifically, they are not able to sale things for high costs, since there is an ongoing competition which could possibly lead to the fewer buyers. Another pivotal issue is that there is a lower demand for the vendors since the serving has been managed by fewer numbers of them. As a result, the popularity of electronic shopping causes the increasing of unemployment, which arises a new problem for the states. In conclusion, the long-term effects of online shopping lead to more perils which might damage the economy of the countries and the population's health.
It is true that the
shopping
online has outweighed the traditional way of purchasing things in
today
's complex society. Although, it
keeps
trending, it has the adverse effects both on the population and the economy of the countries.

To
begin
with, his phenomena
directly
affects the members of society.
That is
to say, the passive lifestyle leads to a concerning issue as the obesity. As
people
prefer the online way of
shopping
due to its convenience, they are more likely to be lenient about their health. A
good
example of it might be
seen
in the rising numbers of obesity in recent years.
Thus
,
before
the possibility of buying things on the internet, it was an excuse of going out or walking around the shops. Another
danger
might be for the bank accounts. When the customers register in sites with personal card numbers, in this respect, there could be peril of
being hacked
in terms of the low security acts.

This trend affects the economy of countries
as well
.
Firstly
, the consumers have
been obliged
to decrease the prices of things in sales as they face the
risk
of losing the customers. More
specifically
, they are not able to sale things for high costs, since there is an ongoing competition which could
possibly
lead to the fewer buyers. Another pivotal issue is that there is a lower demand for the vendors since the serving has
been managed
by fewer numbers of them.
As a result
, the popularity of electronic
shopping
causes the increasing of unemployment, which arises a new problem for the states.

In conclusion
, the long-term effects of online
shopping
lead to more perils which might damage the economy of the countries and the population's health.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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