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Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their job because of it v.8

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their job because of it v. 8
Through the improvement of technology, people love shopping on the internet instead of going to shopping malls. It causes some influences on the environment and many people lost their jobs because of the change of consumption habits. This essay will discuss those impacts in the following paragraphs. On one hand, as people reduce the frequency of their shopping outside, I believe it will have a positive impact on the environment. The number of malls would decrease, land can be used for other purposes, and the situation of transportation would be better. For example, in the past, everyone liked shopping in the shopping mall on the weekend or holiday, the traffic around those places would be very heavy because everyone was waiting in line to enter the parking lot. In addition, merchants saw this situation, they would build more to meet people's needs, which would destroy land and the natural environment. These conditions will gradually improve due to online shopping. On the other hand, many people will lose their jobs as the number of stores is gradually decreasing because businesses no longer need so many clerks, waiters, guards, and managers. When most goods are delivered directly to consumers, it also means that no additional manpower will be required. Just as modern factories use electronic equipment and many workers are fired, people who work in shopping malls will also face the same difficulty as the trend of online shopping. In conclusion, online shopping is very convenient for the consumers and many issues followed with the change. The impact it brings has the advantages and disadvantages. I believe that if this is a trend in modern society, people must try to find ways to adapt and solve problems caused by change.
Through the improvement of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the internet
instead
of going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
. It causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
influences on the environment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost their jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of consumption habits. This essay will discuss those impacts in the following paragraphs.

On one hand, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the frequency of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
outside, I believe it will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the environment. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
would decrease, land can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for other purposes, and the situation of transportation would be better.
For example
, in the past, everyone liked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
on the weekend or holiday, the traffic around those places would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
heavy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone was waiting in line to enter the parking lot.
In addition
, merchants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
this situation, they would build more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's needs, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
land and the natural environment. These conditions will
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
due to online shopping.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will lose their jobs as the number of stores is
gradually
decreasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
businesses no longer need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
clerks, waiters, guards, and managers. When most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are delivered
directly
to consumers, it
also
means that no additional manpower will
be required
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
as modern factories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic equipment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers
are fired
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
will
also
face the same difficulty as the trend of online shopping.

In conclusion
, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for the consumers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues followed with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. The impact it brings has the advantages and disadvantages. I believe that if this is a trend in modern society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to find ways to adapt and solve problems caused by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their job because of it v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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